=.:.S!S+Er LoVe.:.:=

buddies

2005-08-11T18:10:00.000+08:00

like ma buddies..
hope they're fine..
hope mervix's fine..
hope cre's fine..
hope i'm fine..

hope everybody is fine & doing well..

`berls..
-where are u-i still miss u-the times we spent- ):

hmmm.. outing

2005-08-09T14:25:00.000+08:00

went sch la.. for national celebration ytd..
aft tt went to meet ian to tk ma card back..
headed home after tt & met up with friends in town..

dinner in town as usual.. then went clubbing..
with buddies, sis & azreen(tt hot babe)
oh wells.. ytd was quite alrite i guess..
spent all ma money away la..

didnt talk much thou.. been thinking lotsa things..
oh well.. hmmm.. cre's friend drove us back..
ermmm.. then Jess accompanied me at void deck la..
cos sis went momo after coco latte.. (x
Jess stayed near me mahs.. so well, get her to accompanied me..
hmmm.. she's tired.. can tell tt from her face & the way she talked..

reached hm at abt 5.40am like tt lo..
then i chatted with mel awhile on phone..
then i bath after chatting..
went to bed at ard 6.40am..
woke up at 12.20pm today.. (:

might be going out later.. wanna see fireworks..
*smiles*

i'm so damn lost..
i'm loss with words.. i'm confused..

`berls

2005-08-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

5th August'2005

school as boring as usual..
aft sch went shiks hse..
was crazy.. took photos..
aft tt went marina south for steamboat..
suppose to meet Ching but in the end nv..
well.. 3 pple said they not going for steamboat..
then in the end i'm so suprised & shocked by them..
Pauline, Jesslin & Ian.. hee.. *i'm really happy*
they bought a cake.. alrites.. mj & mel were into it as well..
they knew tt plan long time ago..
hmmm.. i'm super duper suprised & shocked till no tears of joy come out la..
was really touched man.. *gosh*
brighten up ma day.. i'm so damn happy.. hee..
after steamboat, went mel's hse lo..
Cre met us under mel's block.. hee..
she waited quite long la.. *i felt so guilty*
oh wells.. we alighted at sembawang mrt station then took cab to mel's hse..
hmmm.. mj went hm with her mum cos she's not feeling well..(carry on reading pls)

*dong dong dong* the clock strikes midnight!.. *ma birthday* (:

6th August'2005

Piggy boy sang me birthday song.. hee.. so touched..
then received birthday smses.. (:
was surprised Pui Cheng remember ma b/d.. hee..
hmmm.. on cab hor, very funny lei..
Got a sms la, Yiya sent one lo.. *laughs*
she's sitting beside me & she wish me happy b/d in sms.. *faints*
was really crazy tt day.. i'm really happy la.. (:
oh wells.. met up with Cre under Mel's block.. hee
then we headed mel's hse for mahjong session.. (:
blah blah blah..

SUDDENLY!.. lights went out.. mel's rm totally dark..
Mj came in with strawberry tarts with candles on it.. hee..
they sang birthday song for me.. *smiles*
i so happy okies.. nv been so happy before lei!.. (:
blah blah blah..
mahjong session ended at ard 3am plus or 4am..
well.. then before tt we took photos.. *smiles*
sent Yiya home with Cre.. hee.. (:
then i went hm second.. lastly, Cre.. (x
chatted awhile on cab sia.. was tired sia.. CRE most tired..
took a photo of her when she fell asleep.. so cute when she sleeps!..

Jo's sick.. poor thing.. haha.. cos i wanna her to sing me birthday song instead "singing" in sms..
ahaha.. oh wells.. i'm just happy la okies?.. (:
i lost ma ez-link card!.. ):

alrites.. met up with ian for awhile.. then headed hm after tt..
then went town met up with sis..
lunch at barker's inn.. (:
movie after tt & dinner at crystal jade..
headed home then planned to go indochine.. (:
however nv go in the end la.. ):
oh wells.. cos it's boring if 2 pax go there..

`berls outta here

whatever..

2005-08-03T22:58:00.000+08:00

i'm the silliest happy girl today!..
cos of JO!.. aha!..
dunno her very well.. but still, i think she's nice!..
funny, cute, interesting.. ARTISTIC as well!.. (:

oh well.. i'm PISSED OFF la.. peeps, u shld know!.. (x
hmmm.. hopefully fri i could get to meet Ching or Cre..
hopefully fri is a fun day.. *smiles*
i kinda miss the past i had with a person.. wells..
thoughts of her in ma mind the whole day..
i dunno why la.. *arghs*

i got lotsa good friends ard me.. so i'm blessed thou i may be so unhappy..
Reef, someone i can turn to(in msn).. she's really sweet.. *hugs*

watching channel U now.. so nice.. aha!..
Jo watching too i guess.. (:
hmmm.. well.. tt madam is so damn chio!.. (x

went town just now with sis.. she got a mp3 player..
then we headed to wheelock.. went NYDC to have dinner..
oh wells.. then went to Zara to shop.. (:

`berls

2005-08-01T18:36:00.000+08:00

well.. ytd went town.. got a hair cut!..
i saw alot of pple in town.. aha!..
kinda miss someone.. ):
met up with burger lo!.. (:
then we went to KFC for dinner..
tt pple working there sucks!..
spoilt ma mood la.. damn it!..they got working attitude prob!..

headed to Herdeen after dinner.. then walked around..
looking at girls as usual.. sis bought a shoes!.. nice!..
burger burger.. such a poor thing.. i pity her..
cos she got one damn lousy gf la..
whatever.. that STEPHAINE is too much!..
burger so nice to her & all.. yet she dun treasure it..
BITCH sia!.. *arghs* ma blood is boiling..

oh wells.. headed to Plaza Sing then.. aha!..
burger got tt turtle key chain.. oh cute!.. (x
saw burger's friends.. sophia & daren..
gosh.. then after tt i asked burger, tt daren is 21 yrs old?..
got lotsa tatoos?.. & she's in hair dressing?.. burger all ans YES lo..
alrites.. it's the daren i know for 1yr like tt la.. but i nv meet up with her..
aha!.. (x

alrites.. i din go sch today la..i'm sick.. aha!..
i miss ma friends.. (:
oh wells!.. hafiz lao gong nv go sch either..
gonna go study le.. cos Ching said she's studying now!..
aha!.. well.. been smsing with Ching these few days..
she's funny & cute.. (:

`berls

ahaha..

2005-07-31T16:53:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. going town to have a hair cut..
tomorrow dun feel like going school..
seeing doctor tomorrow bahs.. aha!.. (x

so tired.. aha!.. Ching so funny..
oh well.. ma Kyo xiao zhu zhu funny too..
1st time chat with her in msn.. (x
hmmm.. Ed's at Penang now.. will be back on Wed..
gonna meet up with her.. aha!..
she gonna teach me maths.. (:
meeting Ching next fridae bahs.. hopefully we can make it this time round..

`berls

arghs..

2005-07-30T16:47:00.000+08:00

damn.. comp siao like tt.. the colour display..
well.. later having tuition.. ):
hmmm.. went out ytd lo..

after sch, went home then met up with Jia Jia for jogging..
then from bukit batok jog all the way to bukit timah..
met up with Jess, Mel & joven for dinner..
aha!.. ytd was so funny la..

well.. went home, bath & all..
i hate being alone.. esp when i'm walking along the roadside..
then all the grave yards there.. *freak*
aha!.. then went out after bathing..
i'm happy, thus i put some make up arhs.. (x

hmmm.. went to Cine for dinner..
uh huh.. it's not me.. it's sis & azreen.. (:
then got 2 guys asked if they could sit beside us..
cos the seats are empty anyways..
then we started chating lo.. aha!..
those 2 guys damn handsome la!.. *smiles*
they started the "chit chating" session first..
at ard 12.15am like that, they went off..
they asked if there's a chance to meet up & stuffs..
Han took sister's number.. aha!..
i didnt even give ma number thou.. (:

oh ya.. so handsome.. gosh!.. they're really handsome!..
Han is 21 yrs old & hsaim is 22 yrs old lo.. (:

well.. reached home at ard 4am.. then i wash up..
slept all the way till ard 3pm like tt la..
was so damn tired & all.. (x

`berls
*getting ready for tuition*

well..

2005-07-28T18:00:00.000+08:00

sch today.. boring like hell!..
tt stupid programme arranged by sch!..
DAMN IT LA!.. SO INSULTING to me..
say abt sex thingy la.. blah blah blah..
then said tt homosexual intercourse is nth..
then said it's very retarded.. what the hell.. #@$%@#$!*@#

hmmm.. well.. Jia Jia & Mel nv go sch today!..
bad bad kids!.. aha!.. (x
didnt get to see her today at all..
well.. buddy was late for school with Cindy..

oh well.. i skipped EC.. was too tired & weak..
then went to causeway point with friends.. (:
then met up with Ryann Lao Gong.. aha!..
well.. hmmm.. took neos with Jess & Shiks lao po..
alrites.. i look so ugly in the neos.. *sighs*

hmmm.. memories bought back somehow..
cos tt place.. well.. ma buddies all know why..
tried not to think & talk abt it but i failed to do so..
i dunno what's wrong with me la..
oh ya.. then today, in class, listen to some songs..
then think of Jake.. ):
ytd the superstar, got one song is chi xin jue dui..
i think of jake too.. hais.. dunno la..

i'm abit siao today.. i admitted it..
well.. accidently slapped Pat.G..
i'm wondering if she's mad at me.. (x
anyways.. she's cute arhs!.. *smiles*
Ryann Lao Gong also very cute.. *laughs*

i like Ryann's shirt!.. i like tt colour!.. (:
Ryann's naughty!.. naughty & playful!.. so damn touchy!..
she pop me just now.. *arghs*
nvm.. she gonna die in ma hands next time!.. *laughs*
well.. she's sure huggable..

might be meeting Ching next friday..
aha!.. to study.. (:
i still haven decide the place yet.

`berls

well..

2005-07-27T19:23:00.000+08:00

ytd, i'm happy.. cos i saw *her* & her sis in toilet..
aha!.. it's very sudden de la.. so shocking..
well.. 1st thing in the morning lo.. i so happy..
but i dunno why.. why i dun dare to look at *her*
perhaps i'm shy.. ma heart will jump out?..
i dunno la.. or am i escaping the fact tt i still like her alot?..

well.. Jess was back in sch ytd!.. so happy.. aha!..
she's one open minded, silly, cute, out-going, funny & crappy girl!.. (x
hmmm.. ytd, FINALLY compeleted ma art durn EC lo..
oh ya!.. with the help of PAULA & WAN TING la.. (:
after EC went to canteen.. then sat down chit chat for a while..

i did saw *her* & her sis at study area but i didnt walk pass them..
well.. it's good to know that she's been studying.. (:
i just felt happy ytd.. i dunno why.. aha!..
well.. then went home with WAN TING lo..
we took one round 184 lo.. (:

ermmm.. then when i reached home, online for awhile & check mails..
then chatted with Jessica.. *smiles*
then i'm so happy.. i told her why.. aha!..
it's good to be happy.. i admit.. but on certain stuffs, i'll be happy..

alrites.. i didnt online for too long.. (x

well.. today in school.. kinda tired.. dunno why i kanna cough..
not serious one la.. but i did cough at times..
hmmm.. today i wisphered into Benedict's ear..
then nearly kiss him.. but i never la.. aha!..
was telling him tt somebody's butt is like getting bigger..
i know i'm bad la.. but it's the fact tt person's butt getting bigger mahs.. (x

ermmm.. oh ya!.. morning.. saw buddy & *her* & her sister..
so sad sia.. buddy sick for a long time le.. then she nv go see doc!.. ):
well.. when i received the reply letter from *her* then i know she's sick..
hmmm.. so many pple falling sick sia.. aiyo..
ask them see doc, all so stubborn sia.. *faints*
hopefully they rest well, drink more water & get well soon..
`i'll be praying for those who are sick..

oh ya!.. a 28 yrs old guy wanna be friends with me..
then his name is andrew lo.. *pukes*
he gave me his number in friendster la!..
it's true!.. JIA JIA saw tt mail in friendster as well..
`i felt disgusted..

`berls.. i pray for *them*(buddy, her & pple close to me)

tracks!..

2005-07-25T18:05:00.000+08:00

sch dimissed us at 11.30pm..
so boring sia today.. ):
aha!.. but luckily got jia jia la.. hee..

hmmm.. after sch, headed home!..
then met up with Jia Jia at Yew Tee at 1.30pm..
we went to CCK stadium for a jog..
but then they closed la!.. ):
so in the end went to gym lo.. hee.. (x

then hor.. we saw this girl, very chio!..
she got a JC look la.. but she's not from JC de lo..
then we went to measure our weight..
then went to toilet.. aha!..
tt girl went into the toilet too!.. she's so funny!..
she walked passed tt hand dryer, then the hand dryer got sound sia..
she started laughing & apologised to me & Jia Jia.. aha!..
so cute la she!.. (x

then i told Jia Jia if i were a guy, i'll go for this kinda of girls..
then Jia Jia also say if she were a guy, she will go for this kinda girls too.. (:
hee.. then we headed to town.. looking for swimming suit..
we took cab down la.. aha!.. i felt so guilty..
cos Jia Jia paid for the cab fare..
hmmm.. gonna treat her something next time..

well.. it's raning cats & dogs la.. then we almost wet.. ):
dunno what's wrong with pple sia.. they SIAO!..
keep staring me & Jia Jia..
izzit wrong to wear a t-shirt & shorts to town with a pair of track shoes?..
*whatever*

aha!.. hmmm.. in the end, Jia Jia didnt get her swimming suit.. ):
ermmm.. we headed to Taka coffee bean..
then ordered Caramel & Ulitmate ice blended with cream (:
nice nice.. we saw someone!.. aha!.. Shhhh.. dun tell u who izzit.. BOO!.. (x

oh ya!.. then after that we headed home lo..
we saw the Rui En.. she's so damn cocky!..
so proud like tt.. so what if she's a actress & singer?..
I HATE PPLE LIKE TT SIA!..
so the YAYA PAPAYA!.. *faints*

ermmm.. Renee smsed me.. hmmm.. hope she's fine..
well.. Jovi called me too.. (x
then asked where am i & said she wanna meet me..
what the hell.. ask me go CCK!.. i dun wanna!.. aha!..
later Wathone see me, kill me sia.. (x
oh yaya!.. Ryann lao gong called me this afternoon too..

overall.. I'M HAPPY today..

oh my!.. ma Jessica tt "si san ba"!.. aha!..
she's sick.. gosh gosh!.. i hope she's fine!..
i miss her lots.. no fun in school today..
felt uneasy without her ard crapping with me.. (x
*jess, see this dun kill me arhs!.. i'm ur "smelly san ba" lei.. aha!*

`berls

sun tanning..

2005-07-24T23:52:00.000+08:00

went tanning with sis today.. aha!..
didnt tanned much lo!..
we only get to tanned our back!..
so pathetic!.. ):
cos tanned our back for 1 & half hour hor, then started raining..

after palawan beach, we went to tanjong beach..
the rain get heavier.. & wind is blowing hard..
we went to a nearby shelter lo.. then got bungs there..
till sis told me then i realised.. (x
i didnt really bother to take a glance at them..
hmmm.. dunno why.. ma eyes on beach girls only.. *laughs*

there's lotsa bungs & beach girls today!.. *smiles*
oh ya!.. saw this ang mo model!.. she's so chio can?!.. (x
hmmm.. i must say.. Those Phi maids, they got good figure..
i SWEAR!.. cos i saw it with ma eyes!.. they're sexy!.. aha!..

hmmm.. ytd chatted with alot of friends on msn.. (:
kinda busy thou..aha!.. checked movie time slot as well..
ermmm.. then chatted with Yiya on the phone..

well well.. Jo poor thingy!.. aha!.. her arms are aching due to push ups!.. (x
hopefully she's okay le arhs.. ah bo see how she's gonna write, draw & stuffs..

many pple falling sick sia.. dunno why.. hmmm..
drink more water lei peeps!.. (x

tanning session with sister next sunday!..
i'm loving the sun, the sea & the sand..
the 3"s" tt i like.. muahaha!..

oh wells.. i miss ma friends!.. hmmm..
tomorrow not much pple going to school..
so i'll be the good girl & go to school!..
yesh!.. i'm the good girl!.. i'm so guai.. (x
boo hoo.. lalala!.. hee..
i'm happy today..

`berls

ahahaha..

2005-07-23T23:31:00.000+08:00

Jessica so cute & funny!.. she's nice to be with!.. (x
tuition today!.. *gosh*
tt tutor so funny & blur!.. but he's up to ma standard..
hee.. cos i like guai looking guys.. aha!..

hmmm.. after tuition, went to eat prata.. hee.. (x
then saw a teacher!.. she's went there with a active lo!..
then i rmb tt Ed told me her friend working in AES as a relief teacher..
then tt relief teacher from CGS de lo..
it's really oh ma god la!.. aha!..

tommorrow hopefully got sun..
i wanna go tanning with sis at sentosa.. (x
after tt going town bahs.. might be meeting Yiya..
hee.. Yiya.. i got lots to tell her also..

`berls

wtf..

2005-07-23T16:40:00.000+08:00

i'm having doubts.. i'm still having doubts..
i dunno what to do la.. ):
i dunno if i shld believe what she said..

omg!.. later gonna go for tuition la.. aha!.. (x
hmmm.. well.. ma lao gong & lao po scandaling!..
hmmm.. i'm sharing them with one another..
aha!.. nvm la.. as long as i'm their number 1 then okay le.. *laughs*

i'm watching HK series.. hee.. so nice lei..
hais.. buddy been sick for so long..
i hope she is fine.. i mean yiya la..
hopefully she go see doctor soon!..

Oh ya.. chatted with Renne ytd in msn.. hee..
she's from ma primary school de.. (:
she's really pretty lo!.. i bet alot of pple sure like her de.. *smiles*
we exchanged numbers.. she's cute..
i sent her ma bung friends photo!..
she said Yiya is cute.. hee..
yesh yesh!.. Yiya is always so cute!.. (:

lalala.. hong kong guys so nice looking!..
hong kong bungs also lo!..
Sang look really like a guy!.. but she's a bung from hong kong la.. (:

sometimes.. it's good to know alot of pple..
it's good to have lotsa friends..
but it's really such a headache if there's any agruements,
disagreements & misunderstandings & stuffs..

hmmm.. but i rmb telling jessica, i dun need a friend to survive..

cos sooner or later, one day, somehow we will drift apart with our friends ard us..
it's true tt we dun really have true friends ard us..
it's the same as we dun really find our true love..
everything tt happened are parts & parcels of life..
we gonna learn to move on..
*for u aaron*

`berls

ahaha!..

2005-07-22T22:52:00.000+08:00

today is just a unlucky day.. *sobs*
teachers didnt come for lessons.. *damnit*
i've been cold towards dean.. i dunno why..
i've been like scolding him so smt.. i dunno why..
aiya.. i dunno what i'm doing.. i dunno what i'm thinking..

wasted 2 hrs for nothing.. no e-math & physics at all..
then didnt attend mother tonuge lesson at all..
cos eileen got some problems with her stead la..
aha!.. i know at 1st she wont say anything, then i type in hp & asked her what happened..
por thing sia she.. but i think her stead is trying to repay what eileen done in the past la.. (x

hmmm.. went town with burger & buddy..
went for lunch.. hee.. (x
kinda nice to meet up with burger..
however we're not tt close anymore.. i'm so sad!.. ):
well.. i dunno la.. hais.. we took neos after tt..
hee.. then i'm so happy.. cos i know her so long..
then 1st time took neos together!.. *smiles*

hmmm.. went home early.. tired too.. ):
oh ya!.. CHIJ girls so cute & funny!.. hee..
hmmm.. got 3 bungs/actives or PL la.. they stared at burger when we walked passed them..
they're so cute cos their hair style same sia.. *laughs*

oh wells!.. i feel so clean now.. cos i'm done waxing after ma bath when i reached home..
hee.. shiok sia tt feeling!.. (:

hmmm.. i must said tt if i could turn back time..
i'll do many changes.. i swear..
cos many things really happened this few weeks la..
so tired can?.. ):

hmmm.. just kinda settle something..
hopefully no misunderstandings le..
i apologised for ma poor attitude & temper..

i knew tt i've change.. much more hot-tempered then before..
but i'll try to be clam & stuffs next time..

ermmm.. moses & hafiz like ma massage!.. aha!.. i'm so proud now.. (x
oh well.. been talking dirty with guys in ma class..
damn.. then i got nightmares when i sleep.. *gosh*

aiya.. but i kidding only.. they know i'm palyful & i like girls..
so they wont do anything de la..
just play along will do lo.. (:

suddenly, i miss jovi, it's been long since i seen her..
angeline too!.. i wanna see the change in her!.. (x
i miss ma cousins too.. aha!..
i miss those times we spent.. plucking rambutans & stuffs..

`berls.. i need time to get over *u

HAPPY

2005-07-21T19:19:00.000+08:00

hee.. i'm HAPPY today..
cos she wrote me testi..
she brighten up ma day!.. (:

thou i'm not feel good deep down in ma heart these few days..
cos been quarreling with ma family.. *sighs*

yesh.. i still like her still.. but i'll slowly let go..
cos i know we cant be together..
all i wish is she's fine & happy with her life..
as long as she's happy, i'll be contented..

Mei yee is ma lucky charm.. (:
i told her why i said tt too.. hee..

`berls.. happy cos she brighten up ma day (:

FUCK

2005-07-20T19:24:00.000+08:00

FUCK LA.. FUCKING GUYS!.. FUCKING DAD..
FUCK FUCK FUCK.. FUCK OFF MA LIFE MAN!..
DAMNIT!.. I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE..

I GONNA PROVE THOSE GUYS WRONG!..
I GONNA STUDY HARD..
IN A FEW YRS TIME I SURE GONNA MOVE OUT OF THIS DAMN HOUSE..

SCHOOL SUCKS TODAY!..
SO BORING!.. I FEEL SO TIRED.. *SIGHS*

I DUNNO WHAT I'LL DO IF I CANT TK IT AANYMORE..

PERHAPS I WONT BE BLOGGING SO OFTEN..
PEEPS, IF I DIDNT REPLY ANY OF YOU GUYS SMSES, SORRY..
CALL ME IF THERE'S SOMETHING IMPORTANT..

`berls

Whatever..

2005-07-19T18:40:00.000+08:00

oh well.. i slept for awhile ytd night..
before waking up & do ma homework..

quarreled with dad & bro.. *damn guys*
went to bro's room to study.. cos sis sleeping in our own rm mahs..
dun wanna wake her up..
then living rm was so damn noisy.. cos bro watching hk series..
Kitchen table full of foods.. how to study, right?..
dad accused me of chatting on the phone lo!.. *arghs*
i didnt!.. i was sleeping la!..

i cant move to serangoon!.. *arghs*
i went to mum's rm to study then..
was kinda pissed off.. damn guys!.. they cant understand me..
ma eyes like fishball le lo.. cos was crying in the afternoon.. then stupis arse la..
stupid dad & bro quarreled with me!.. *arghs*

really feel like breaking down.. i'm so tired..
so tired of all the quarrels & misunderstandings between me & ma family..

well.. smsed with her, Ching & Clive ytd night..

hmmm.. happy to hear her voice!.. aha!..
then we smsed one another..
she told me smt lo..
then i offered her help..
but she like dun wanna accept it arhs..
dunno why also..
aha!.. but all i can do now is to stand by her & help her as a friend..
i didnt expect anything much or anything in return..
hee.. then i told her she's blessed to have me as a friend la..
then she said she vomit blood or rather food cos she just taken supper.. (x
but she said she's kidding la..
i dunno.. she's just cute & funny..
she's blur at times too.. (x
oh ya!.. i told her abt the inbox thingy too..
oh man.. i think she must have had think tt i'm so silly..
but i told her why i cried.. aha..
`berls still likes HER (: *blush blush*

Ching was funny.. cos i told her i got fishball eyes..
then she said she only heard goldfish eyes & panda eyes before..
then i was like telling her dun laugh at ma silliness.. (x

Clive "hubby" told me what happened.. i was kinda shocked..
hopefully clive "hubby" feels better now..

school today is alright!.. ma neck damn pain!..
wanna die le.. cos of ma art thingy.. *sighs*
i aint satisfied with ma art work still..
gonna redo it again i guess..
i got no choice.. *arghs*

`berls going berserk

DUMBASS..

2005-07-18T16:10:00.000+08:00

i'm so sad.. i'm falling into depression.. *sighs*
i actually wanna clear ma sent items..
then i accidently clear ma inbox smses..

now it's all gone.. forever gone..
i can never get those smses back.. never again..
all those smses give me motivation at times too..
those smses carry different meanings..
they're damn important to me la.. *sighs*
cos everytime when i'm free.. i'll read thru those smses..

i'm such a failure.. it's all ma fault tt all the smses are gone..
how stupid can i be.. *sighs*
i feel like crying.. damnit..
i felt so useless..

`berls depressed..

so sad..

2005-07-17T16:56:00.000+08:00

i'm so sad.. din go tannign today.. *sighs*
din go town today for movies.. *cries*

sis went out with sharon..
she reached hm at 5am plus in the morning..
she was drunk.. sharon was even worst!..

the went indochine lo.. piangs!.. i wanna celebrate ma b/d there..
i gonna find a ic la.. hee.. i'm sure i can get one..
oh ya!.. on ma b/d, i wanna put a tatoo.. (:
i got tt design le.. sis design for me.. *smiles*
i gonna save money la!.. ahaha..

well.. Oscar kinda sad.. she got problems with her so called "gf"..
hopefully she's fine lo.. *smiles*
she's like kinda in the same boat as me..
din told her what happen in the past thou..

sighs.. i kinda miss her.. but i cant tell her..
i just gonna remain friends with her..
oh well.. it's better than nothing..

Jovi called me just now.. she's sick..
poor thing.. hope she gets well soon..
i still care!.. cos she's like a baby..
dunno how to take care of herself..
somemore sick le dun wanna see doc..
tsk tsk.. how can she be so stubborn..
hopefully Wathone brings her to doctor.. hee.. (x

Reef's sick too.. she got fever.. *gosh*
hopefully she see doc & rest well..
why izzit so many pple falling sick?.. *ponders*
how i wish i'm sick.. then i can pon sch.. (x

i've slack too much.. aha.. think it's gonna be the end of me..
hee.. been watching hk series these few days.. (:
tt show very nice sia.. ahaha!..
got pretty babes & handsome guys!.. *smiles*

`berls

.......

2005-07-17T01:40:00.000+08:00

chatted with clive "hubby" on msn..
hee.. felt better somehow.. (:
kinda show out ma "ah lian" attitude..
was really very pissed off la.. *sighs*

ma right arm aching.. ytd played badminton..
then now muscle ache le.. *sighs*
damn.. i got ma "aunt's visit"..
but still i gonna go tanning on in the morning!..

well.. i'm a blessed girl.. aha!.. (x
i'm blessed cos i know lotsa nice pple..
but there's lotsa problems bothering me.. ):

haha.. ryann lao gong so funny..
alrites.. i shall keep it as a secret..
i cant blog in ma blog what really happened..
who know her damn fucking ex will check ma blog..

i wanna learn cantonese.. i swear i will learn!..
after O's i gonna sign up a dance thingy with jessica.. (:
well well.. then i gonna work too.. then i wanna save money..
i wanna go hong kong to shop..
perhaps i can meet up with Sang & Edith.. (:
they shall be ma tour guide in hong kong.. *smiles*

met sis for dinner.. before tt she was so attitude..
keep using the word "FUCK"..
damn la.. spoilt ma mood..
but still, everything was okay le..
haha.. then there's thisi bung working at "Sakura"..
sis said she will somehow grow a dick.. then i asked why..
sis said tt bung got a dick face.. *laughs*
i agreed to it la.. tt bung damn fair lo!.. then she look like KNS..

i regretted knowing somebody..
really regretted.. if it's not cos of tt somebody..
i bet things wont turn out this way..
i bet i wont be hurt time & times..
wont be such a fool for so long.. *sighs*

`berls

sighs.. i'm so sick of it..

2005-07-15T19:42:00.000+08:00

things been bothering me.. *sighs*

i wondered if i'll regret in the future..
regret alot of things..
well.. had listening compre today.. think i cant pass la..
ma answers different from ma friends..

well.. i'm so damn pek chek now..
so many things la..
ma attitude getting bad to worst.. sorry abt it..

had PE lessons today.. played badminton..
was like so shiok la.. cos i vent all ma anger while playing badminton..
felt abit better la.. played badminton with Eileen..
she's a better player than the others.. so ya.. (:

hmmm.. after listening, went fagging with ma bung buddy..
then told her what's bothering me these few days..
didnt tell her the whole thingy.. cos no time at all..
so ya.. think i tell her next time bahs..

grandaunt coming back next week.. shld me moving in to her hse..
i cant wait for the day!.. *smiles*

well.. was so happy to receive ma "used to be ah gong's" sms..
she wished me good luck for listening.. hee..
i smsed her back too.. wish her good luck.. *smiles*
thought she wont remember me arhs..
luckily she not tt heartles.. (x
oh else sure break ma heart.. aha!..
finally got tt kinda friendship back la.. (:

i dunno why.. i hugged baby taz ytd instead of baby tigger..
both are ma cute softie.. *smiles*
i love them so much.. but i aint hugging baby taz for a long time..
however, i think tt ma baby taz more cuter!.. only one teeth..
cant blame.. i feed him with too much sweets..
thus ma baby taz left with one tooth..
ohh.. i'm a bad mummy.. *gosh*

`berls

du lan..

2005-07-14T20:01:00.000+08:00

dad was fucking noisy..
barking like some mad dog on street!..

was finding resources for ma art.. helping Adi to find resources too..
damn ma dad!.. he's fucking noisy.. oh hell!.. damn fucking shit guy!..
how i wish he can donate some of his damn voice to grandpa..
cos grandpa is a mute & deaf person..

i cant wait to get out of this damn house of mine!..
i wanna go serangoon stay!.. i'm waiting!..

ohh.. Dad scolded me.. he said thte word "fuck"..
ma english is damn lousy.. he's even worst..
all he does is called his friends when he just reached home..
then he started using english & hokkien.. *faints*

he actually set a bad example in front of me..
i aint gonna care.. whatever vulgarites he said..
i'll use it on him too.. i'm so damn pissed off!..

he said i got a fucking brain.. damn him..
i shouted at him.. i said he's a fucking damn dad who got a fucking foul mouth & i wonder why he's fucking bias towards me..

been having problems these few days already..
he still bark like some mad dog..
ohh.. he damn fucking bastard..

i'm so angry now!.. *arghs*

`berls

what the hell

2005-07-14T16:30:00.000+08:00

buddy din go sch today..
i was kinda tired..
i was late for sch.. *sighs*
cos didnt sleep well last night at all..

Ching smsed me ytd.. *smiles*
she's a caring friend i must say..

oh ya.. chatted with Yun Ru ytd on msn..
she's really funny thou.. silly girl la she..
the things she told me what she done & stuffs towards the girl she likes..
then she ask me how i tell a girl i like her?..
then i just told Yun Ru what i'll do & stuffs lo..

well.. ermmm.. Yun Ru smsed me this morning..
she wanna exchanged numbers in msn ytd mahs..
then exchange lo.. nvm one mahs..

Chatted with Jovi on msn ytd too.. Not tt Jovi tt resembles ma ex..
her nick is angel5 in fridae..

well.. ytd was on phone with burger.. then we chatted lo..
did told her what happened & stuffs for the past 5 mths..
then she told me her problesm & stuffs too..

damn pissed off with her gf.. dunno what the hell she wanna from burger..
i've never seen such a girl b4.. *bitch*
burger is like so damn lost.. she dunno what to do now..
damn.. i advice burger to break up with her gf..
aha.. i know i sound bad.. but love is selfish..
if u gonna give in to the other party everytime, u're the one at the losing ends..
burger is just like a bird, locked up in a cage for ages..

well.. burger said tt she's afraid tt her gf might commit sucide..
her gf cut her waist before lo.. i felt it's so damn childish..
i told burger to ask her go & die la.. die faster better!..
what for cut ur waist but didnt die & end up being hospitalise?..
waste the money, human resources & stuffs..
dunno what her gf thinking la.. so childish.. *faints*

then i told burger it's so damn childish & stupid of burger's gf to commit sucide if burger is gonna break-up with her..
if she's so brave & so decisive, then go ahead & die la..
i dun believe burger's gf will commit sucide if burger break-up with her..

anyways, all these stupid acts are just threatening.. it aint call love..
i mean if u threaten to hurt urself just to get ur gf to stay by ur side, aint u selfish?..
why cant u think tt it's better to end this r/s since ur partner doesnt wanna continue?..
there's sure smt lacking in the r/s, thus ur partner wanna a stop what..

ohh.. whatever la.. i really dunno what to say anymore le..
hopefully ma friends they will get what i mean..
esp those tt are facing problems with their gf la..

`berls

worried..

2005-07-13T21:45:00.000+08:00

FUCKING SHIT.. STUPID BITCH BUNG!..
MAKE UP STORIES FOR WHAT.. DAMN U!..

U'RE THE WORST BUNG I EVER KNEW!..
NOW I BELIEVE WHAT OTHERS USED TO TELL ME!..

am so worried for her.. i dunno why..
i still like her & i care alot..
but i didnt express maself tt i still like & care for her..
all i can care for her is only as a friend..

just now, i told her i still like her..
it's true i SWEAR!..

maybe i'm just a fool, like what ma friends said abt me..
but i didnt care.. i still like her..
i dunno what's attracting me.. but i still like her..

Met jaff today after sch, then home..
then went out with friends..

called burger but she didnt answer ma call..
she was in town.. but didnt have chance to see burger..
i felt so stress.. so many to tell burger..
*sighs*

once again, i'm so stress, so pissed, so worried, so angry & so sad..

what am i suppose to do?.. i really dunno la!.. *arghs*

sometimes i wonder if i ever expressed ma care & concern in wrong ways..
maybe i gonna change ma ways of expressing care & concern towards pple ard me..
well.. i dunno what to do..

i really feel like crying.. i held back ma tears..
but i'm sure tt i gonna cry in the middle of night..

`berls

FUCK!..

2005-07-12T18:15:00.000+08:00

i aint in good mood!.. dun pissed me off!..
i'm damn fucking moody now..

cos of one damn sms..
i used to love him alot but i hate him to the core now..
yet he still got the cheek to contact me?!..

i woke up today & saw burger's 4ward sms..
i'm so happy.. really happy.. cos i thought she forgotten abt me..
i miss burger.. i got lots to tell her..
or rather when i see her, i'll hug her tight & cry out loud..

i admit, i may look strong on the outside..
but i kept every sadness & stuffs in ma heart..
keep quiet, is worst than crying..
cos ma heart is crying everynight.. *sighs*

things been happening since feb till now..
no good things happened at all..
ma life is in a mess..

am i a failure?.. yesh, clive hubby said, no matter what life goes on..
but i tried hard to move on with it & yet i realised, after a long period of time, i just took one step..
how pathetic can it be?.. aint i a failure?..

sch was still alrite today.. Piggy boy so cute.. Miguel also very cute..
well.. during chemistry, i had fun..i love the experiment.. (:

pple see me laughing here & there with ma friends..
but i doubt they know how i really feel..

tt's all for today.. i got no mood to blog anymore..

hais..

2005-07-11T17:53:00.000+08:00

i'm so worried for her.. i dunno why..
hopefully she wont get hurt or whatever by somebody..
happy cos got talk today!.. (:

well.. i'm sick.. ):
got fever.. *sighs*
tummy ache too..

so tired.. i gonna go sleep later.. (x

FUCKING monkey!.. diao me today.. ass her!..
so damn skinny.. so flat!.. i wonder if her husband enjoying FUCKING her!..

Jaff's caring!.. a good senior i have arhs!..
i so proud.. aha!.. she working still can sms me..
must be too free arhs.. (x

shld be going town with Jaff bahs..
i dun wanna go tanning.. bag sure damn heavy.. hee..
wednesday wearing nike dunk to school.. (:

i hate tt damn fucking family breaker bitch!..
stupid arsehole bung i ever seen in ma life!..
34 yrs old, cant get girl izzit, then go find married woman!.. *arghs*
all thanks to u, ma friend is damn pissed off!..

sighs..

2005-07-10T23:57:00.000+08:00

i got no motivation to study at all..
been slacking ard.. dunno why sia.. ):

well.. went town with sister today!..
took neos together.. been so long since we took neos..

i'm loving maself each day.. i dunno why..
aha!.. (x
ryann lao gong so cute..

somehow i miss hubby.. dunno why..
chatted with Jaff just now.. hee..

well.. i'm so tired.. i felt hot when i'm talking to Jaff..
think i'm not feeling well at all.. *sighs*

`berls

....

2005-07-10T03:33:00.000+08:00

i went to Causeway point with siblings..
watched "Six" that thai movie.. (:
it's horror movie.. it's a nice show i swear..
but one thing.. i dun find it very scary at all.. (x

well.. tt place brought back memories..
memories of jake & me.. *smiles*
it's always like that.. went to causeway point, always think of her..
but i'm trying hard not to thou..
well.. it's much better compared to last time..
at least i dun think of our past for that long after i left causeway point..
hee.. got improvement.. isn't it?.. (:

shiks coming to ma hse tml!.. cant wait to see her!..
aha!.. i gonna ask her play games with me!..
play PS games or we go online arhs.. (:
if not, she must sleep with me.. (x
*eh siao!.. dun think dirty arhs!..*

hmmm.. i'm missing Eugenia!.. aha!.. cant wait to see her in school..
she's so cute.. so small size.. that cute girl that i consider as ma lil mei.. (x
she's so sweet la!.. she resembles charmaine.. but Eugenia CUTER!.. (:

chatted with mel just now.. hee..
i agreed to what she said la.. i'm more suitable to be a PL..
i got bad temper & attitude.. it will get worst if i'm att with a bung..
then we were talking abt who suitable for me & stuffs..
so funny.. she named out quite alot.. aha!..

then i told her, if i'm a damn fucking slutty str8 girl..
i'll have sex with the guy if he's willing to spend on me.. (x
but i'm not tt kinda girl la.. hee..

then suddenly i told her that i felt bungs & guys no difference..
told her why i said so & stuffs..
damn!.. ma impression on bungs not tt good as before le.. (x

oh ya!.. sis been crazy!.. keep telling me abt her director!.. *arghs*
make me so jealous!.. got this feeling her director is a PL lei!..
then i told sis to go for the director la!.. *laughs*
i know i'm bad la.. aha!.. but it sound tt the PL director is so damn cool..

wells.. been e-mailing with becca(the bballer) since tt day i saw her at herden..
then told her lotsa things too.. aha!.. she's cute & funny..
love mailing with her.. tt's all i can say.. hee.. (x

somebody called me ytd at abt 1.45am but i fell asleep le..
dunno who called me.. *ponders*

i'm loving ma darling lao gong ryann so much!..
she's cute & funny.. never fails to put a smile on ma face..
she said ma voice is sexy when i wake up.. *faints*
whose voice aint sexy when they wake up arhs?..
aha!.. i gonna help her find infor from *somebody*
hopefully everything turns out fine.. (:
i'm looking for girls for ma lao gong!.. see i'm so good to her!.. (x
but aint she bad?.. she dun look out for bungs for me..
aha!.. nope!.. i'm kidding la.. i dun need bungs at all..
cos i'm always so busy with ma stuffs..
lao gong knows what i mean!.. (x
always mention different bungs & all to her.. aha!..

hmmm.. ytd ma attitude towards Clive "hubby" abit bad..
dunno why.. kinda not please with what she told me..
but i understand how's she's feeling la..
dunno she's okay now nots.. *ponders*
then what she've told me, somehow brought back memories of ma ex..
i said tt she's more horrible than ma ex..
before she went offline, she said, "i am a flirty basturd tt dont deserved to be on this world" & " i'm a fucking idiot"
i cant sleep well cos the words keep running in ma mind..
perhaps what i've said hurt her too..

Jaff just called me!.. she told me she went party with her ex & they done smt.. *faints*
she sound like as thou she's abit drunk..
aha!.. she just reached home then called me.. she's taking a bath now before calling me..
asked her go take a bath 1st lo.. freshen up mahs.. (:

one last thing!.. i've been listening to Alex Toh's love songs.. (:
it's nice nice nice & NICE!.. hee..

`berls

cck stadium

2005-07-08T22:40:00.000+08:00

went chua chu kang stadium after sch today..
went to watch the rely thingy..
Pat.G took part mahs.. with the twins & the maine..

went there with Kristoper, Shiks lao po & Izzah berry sister!.. (:
hmmm.. am so tired.. dying like that.. ):
there's lotsa pple there!.. saw ma ex la.. cos he used to be in track in Assumption English School mahs..
but then it's like.. we're behaving like strangers.. *sighs*

i so bored then i sms Ching Har.. asked if she's in school anots.. then i told her i'm at stadium..
then she told me she's at cck stadium too..
saw some JC pple la.. aha!.. but cant see her at all arhs.. (x
there's pretty girls ard, cute bungs & average looking guys..

Halfway, Jaff called me then i answered lo.. then we chatted awhile la..
haha.. then told her abt the height thingy of a bung.. blah blah blah..

ma art is in a mess!.. i wanna redo..
but mr ang dun let la!.. *arghs*

alrites.. today POA is free lesson!..
then miss sim came to our class..
chatted with her lo.. hee.. then told her lotsa things..
i said smt abt monkey CHEN la.. then skinny monkey!..
aha!.. then miss sim pull ma ear.. but is play play de lo..

hmmm.. saw *her* & alexis in school.. it's her oral today..
wanna say good luck de but she like nv see me like that..
then i went to find miss siti, then saw jesslin lo..
hee.. then wish jesslin good luck.. then ask jesslin help me wish *her* good luck lo..

fuck shit.. the msn sucks so much.. connection problems..
dont try & be a hypocrite!.. damn u!.. get outta ma life!..
stupid fucking jerk!.. u're just a pain in ma neck!..

think tt's all for today bahs..

`berls

arghs!..

2005-07-07T20:15:00.000+08:00

i cant stand ma family at all!.. *damn*

whatever!.. once grand aunt is back!..
i gonna ask her to let me stay at her hse!..
i need PEACE!.. i rather be alone NOW!..
so i can STUDY!..

i aint studying at all.. what the hell!..
i got no mood!.. no mood!.. no mood la!..

this FUCKING family of mine!..
so inconsiderate!.. *arghs*

i HATE school!..
i HATE the freaking idiotic damn ass guy!..
u're the one who broke the promises!..
u're getting on ma nerves!..

get outta ma way!.. irritating freaking bastard!..

ARGHS!.. bro is making me horny now!..
but i aint getting horny!.. damn him!..
ma neck is so ticklish now.. ass la!..
but good arhs.. practice makes perfect..
next time pple cant make horny.. aha!.. (x
bro had been "disturbing" me these with days..
make me so "buay ta han"..

mum asked me wear bra at home!.. she said bro is now big le.. must wear..
eeeeewww!.. i dun want la!.. siao eh..
go out wear bra, at home wear bra also mehs?..
over ma dead body.. i aint gonna wear bra at home!..
so what if there's guys at home?..
i cant be bothered at all..

i hate to wear bras!.. so sickening..
like as thou 2 bowls stuck there!..
hate that feeling!.. *arghs*

`berls so damn pissed

sighs..

2005-07-06T17:46:00.000+08:00

i think i failed ma oral..
damn!.. i got no mood today at all!.. *arghs*

sorry peeps if ma attitude kinda bad these days..

Ching Har didnt go school today!..
aint she a naughty girl?.. aha!.. cos she woke up late!.. (x

i'm nearly late for school today.. but never la..
been busy with school.. so tired!..
i'm not just facing school problems!.. but also other problems..

`berls

forgot..

2005-07-05T20:21:00.000+08:00

oh ya.. i forgot!.. That zheng fang!..
hit ma butt today with her book.. *arghs*
so pain sia.. she hit a few times lo.. ):

later ma butt become flat how sia?..
i will cry one lei..
i front already so small like tt sia..
later no butt, i can go die arhs.. ahaha!.. (x

hmmm.. sis is sick.. poor her..
*god bless*

hais..

2005-07-05T19:00:00.000+08:00

once & for all.. again!.. i'm so tired to think abt anything..
i'm trying not to think..
but things just keep going in ma mind..

well.. Ching Har sent me a mms.. "Clive"..
then she was saying her bag is tt brand la..
then tt mms is the pic for Clive, ma "gf"(as what Ching Har thought)
i told her Clive not ma gf..
cos i created a blog for me & clive only..
then tt time i ask Ching Har go look at the layout lo..
haha.. then she saw "Clive" tt name on the blogskin..
thus thought Clive is ma "gf"..

Ching Har funny la.. aha!.. (:
i'm so shocked when she sent me tt mms.. (x
hmmm.. am tired.. sch so boring!..
study till ma head burst la!..

Saw buddy Yiya!.. aha.. she's cute.. i like her hair..
but think style up more nice la..
tt FUCKING ah tan la!.. asked her wash off.. *arghs*
well, then at 1.30pm saw Yiya outside toilet there..
then talked to her a little while.. hee..
then ma dearest Mrs Norman(math teacher), said smt abt me..
i thought is cos i nearly touch Yiya's chest then she saw lo..
but she was refering smt else.. it's ma sport bra she's refering to..
but i'm blur in the 1st place.. haha!.. then Moses told me!..
he said, "it's as bright as the sun"..
by saying that, i know what he meant la.. aha!..
cos ma sport bra is orange in colour.. nike de.. aha!..
that time went town with Shiks, Mj, Jase & ma sis then bought de lo.. (x

i miss chatting on phone with Yiya!.. so many things to tell her..
so many problems i'm facing.. wanna tell her so badly..

well!.. shit.. i forgot smt!.. Jovi called me!..
i forgot return call.. aha!.. shall do tt later i guess.. (x
i'm missing so many pple la..

ma friends who are working.. miss them so much..
it's been long since we hang out together, have fun & stuffs..
when can i spend those times with them again?..
we're all busy with out life.. ):

i wanna hug burger.. i wanna see her..
cos seeing her, i can put aside what's troubling me..
burger is so cute & understanding.. (:
thou she's 22 this yr le.. but she's not behaving like one..
i love playing ard with her.. have fun & stuffs.. (x

i'm suffering from *dunno what* kinda sickness..
think i gonna go crazy one day.. *sighs*

how i wish someone is up there to hold me tight..
i need tt special hug, comfort & shoulders..
will i ever have one?.. i dunno..

`berls depressed

nth..

2005-07-04T17:08:00.000+08:00

i'm so lost once again..
sighs.. so many things happening..

i dunno what to do.. ):

ARGHS!..

2005-07-03T23:08:00.000+08:00

woke up at ard 12pm.. Clive "hubby" called me..
i slept at 5am la.. haha!.. means i only slept for 7 hrs like tt..
received a sms from jaff this morning.. (:
she's funny.. aha!.. go work le also tell me.. *faints*

oh ya!.. Ryann lao gong smsed me ytd too..
haha!.. she siao.. asked abt ma malay friends..
then she said wanna chinese gf then say can stead with me hor?..
then i laugh.. she admit she's naughty la.. *laughs*
think she miss me too much arhs.. then say all these things..
aha!.. she said wanna hug me.. then i say i hug, hug lo..
she said she pai sei.. later she wanna hug me i dun wanna.. *faints*
it's just a hug, i wont mind de mahs.. ahahah!.. (x

hmmm.. Clive THOUGHT i LIKE jaff!.. *faints*
i dun like jaff la!.. i'm refering to someone else..
i never meet up with jaff before & she's too old for me..

well.. went to visit grandpa with mum & bro..
he's cute i swear!.. loving him lots with ma heart always..
nobody can replace my grandpa.. aha!..
i prefer both grandpa than both of ma grandma.. (x

oh ya!.. can u guys believe it?.. Hazel smsed me..
spologised for what she done.. everything.. those quarrels & all..
i'm like so blur when she sms me.. cos i didnt save her number in ma phone..
then we smsed with one another.. aha!..

oh man!.. i'm been slacking all the way.. thou i may be attentive in class..
but when actual examinations came, ma mind all blank de lo..
what i'm doing, just enjoy ma life off la.. ahaha!..
i met sister at her work place.. then we go ard shopping for high heels shoes!..
cant blame.. we're short!.. we need to wear high heels!.. (:

ermmm.. David Beckham & others "Da Ren Wu" staying at swissotel!..
they deciding where to held olympics in yr 2012.. *smiles*
do u guys know how i know?.. it's cos ma sis working there..
then she told me de.. hee!..

oh ya!.. got alot of police there lei!.. at raffles there!..
got SDU also!.. *faints*
they very scary lo!.. ahahah!.. (x
but their build not bad la.. some also very handsome wors..

oh ya!.. did i mention?.. mum & me saw a bung on bus..
mum said tt bung is disgusting.. i agreed to it!..
she's fucking fair la.. she got no style at all!..
then i told mum that ma friends better..
mum said ma friends sure as disgusting as tt bung we saw on bus..
then i was so angry!..
i shot her back, "Regina lei?.. she's cute & huggable, she dun dress like tt disgusting bung what.."
mum replied, "oh ya, how is she?.. why she so small in size & she really look cute, like little boy"

i'm shocked when mum replied me that la.. (:
but now.. haha.. dun think we will ever have a chance to go out again.. as friends.. no longer anymore bahs..
she's busy with her life now.. dunno doing what either..
but i hope she is studying hard for her O's & get to the poly & the choice of course she wanna..

dinner at Outback!.. haha.. i ate "alice spring chicken" & sis ate pasta..
Jaff called me.. i smsing with *her* then accidently cancelled jaff's call.. (x

hmmm.. *she* right la.. 1yr 6 mths is not long enough..
cos i like a bung for tt long..
think tt bung is the only girl i will like tt long bahs..
it depends actually.. see who can capture ma heart again for tt long..
am i a fool to like someone so long?.. i also dunno..

but the longest i like a person is 4 yrs, his name is jerome..
hopefully, someday, i'll like a girl more than 4 yrs.. (:

all i ask for is pple i know to be happy always.
overcome all setbacks & stuffs..

*thou i may like u & u got someone in heart, i'll still be by ur side till end of time, as long as i shall live.. but i'll see u as ma good friend, i wont wanna even lost u as ma friend*

`berls

...

2005-07-03T03:34:00.000+08:00

tired!.. haha..
went out.. morning then afternoon went home sleep..
till ard 4plus afternoon then wake up call clive.. ma "hubby"..
hmmm.. chatted with her 1hr 22 mins..
ermmm.. went town met up wit sis..

-dinner at plaza sing-

before tt jaff called me.. i tot is which guy..
she sound so guy la!.. (x
hmmm.. shocked she called me.. aha!..

maybe i still have feelings for her..
but i know i cant tell her..
cos i'm not suppose to do so..
somemore, it's not the right time to do all these..
guess.. i gonna like her in silence still..
thou it's really miserable to keep it in ma heart la..
all i ask is she to be happy.. *gos bless & watch over her*
i hope she is doing fine now..

oh ya.. peeps.. if u guys cant contact me at ma hp..
sorry.. cos i gonna ask mum to keep ma hp..
i wanna concentrate ma studies for time being..
hope u guys understand.. (:

`berls-missing someone

friday..

2005-07-01T18:50:00.000+08:00

nearly late for sch today..
looking for keys.. dunno where i put ma keys la.. (x

well.. school today sucks so much.. i dunno why..
just so sian lo.. *sighs*
i'm tired la.. ma eyes damn heavy..
couldnt really sleep well last night..
been thinking lotsa things.. sch, friends & personal life stuffs..

i got a slight fever ytd.. hee.. then morning wake up okay le..
mum's really nice to me.. hee.. she woke up 6 plus in the morning..
just to go to Serangoon & take ma pe attire tt i left it at grandaunt's place.. (:

there's lotsa regrets in ma life down the road 15 yrs plus..
but yu min is right, what for have regrets in the 1st place?..
since u've made a decision or smt, then it's ur choice..
who to be blame at 1st place?.. it's me..

i dunno if i still like her.. everytime i took a glance at her, then i turn away..
i didnt talk to her for so long already.. aiya.. dunno la.. *sighs*
i've tried to like other pple but i cant really do it..
or rather shld i said tt i'm not sure abt ma feelings towards pple?..

i'm sorry if i ever hurt anyone with ma words & stuffs..
but i hate beating ard the bush la.. i'm str8-4ward..
just say anything on ma mind.. so ya..

pple asked me b4, if i'm a gd lover or stead?..
it depends actually.. but i think i'm better to be a good lover than stead..

sometimes it's not tt i wanna things to turn out this way..
why ever since we broke up, we're like strangers?..
why cant we be good friends again?.. just like when we're having trainings?..
it really hurts me.. but i know tt, i've hurt u & vice versa.. u're the one who let me go..

alrites.. after sch went bukit timah pizza hut with jess, jiajia, mei kuan, shiks, pat & dean..
went for lunch.. after tt went to beauty world mac to study..
study till ard 5.20pm then we went home le.. (:

1st time out with jia jia & mei kuan la.. hee.. they're funny thou.. (:
well.. i told mei kuan i dun like her in the past(b4 i get to know her)..
cos she's always with the ah lian & abt what happened last yr la..
then she asked wat abt now?.. if i still dislike her nots..
of cos i dun now la.. cos it's like.. she's tt kinda playful type of girl lo..
hee.. u will laugh ur head off of u're with her.. *faints*

rave & her gf broke up ytd.. *sighs*
i hope he's fine now la.. i dunno how to console pple..
but at least i can lend a listening ear or smt..
why izzit so many pple having r/s probs?..
such as quarrels etc.. then break up..
rave is kinda pitiful la.. tt damn girl told him she dun feel comfortable with him..
i mean wat the hell la.. then in 1st place why go with rave?.. *stupid bitch*
rave is so serious with her.. it's not how long a r/s is.. it's the feelings tt rave had for tt girl la..

why girls now so bitchy de.. i mean.. those tt go for looks & money?..
nowadays pple hardly go with the feelings..

if a girl go with guy whose rich, who is true to her & yet she doesnt feel anything for a guy..
aint the girl making use of him?.. asking him to buy this & tt for her?.. maybe she wont tell the guy directly but rather drop him some hints la.. then the guy stupid stupid go buy for her.. *faints*
once a girl got what she wanna, she will dump tt guy.. or else.. if she's even smarter than i thought, she might always stick with the guy cos of money.. *sighs*

if a girl go with a guy cos of looks, who is true to her & yet she doesnt feel anything for a guy..
aint she cheating herself as well as the guy?.. i mean.. she can go ard showing off how "handsome" her bf is tt kinda stuffs.. if the guy found out, aint him gonna be hurt?.. *sighs*

I DETEST GIRLS TT'S TREATING GUYS OR BUNGS LIKE TT!..

what can i say?.. in a r/s, if u wanan it go smoothly & stuffs..
u must play along with ur party..
it's like a game.. the "big 4"..
once u make a wrong move, u cant turn back..
i mean in a r/s, be sure or wat u're doing.. dun ever regret..
cos it's u the one who choose it tt way..

`berls

today..

2005-06-29T22:37:00.000+08:00

well.. late for sch today. damn..
stupid monkey made us picked up leaves..
fuck her la.. *arghs*
my skirt damn short.. stupid her..
didnt catch me at all.. i wanna her catch me de..
then send me home.. so i can slp..

hmmm.. sch ended at 6pm like tt..
cos got EC after school mahs..
supposingly shld end at 5pm la.. then drag all the way..
well.. i'm so tired.. haha.. but happy la.. cos i 1st time get so high for ma physics..
somemore do myself then then check books for ans.. hee (:

well.. i long time nv see chirstie le lei.. so sad.. dunno why..
miss her cute face.. hahaha!.. darling eugenia so cute..
during recess she kissed me on ma cheek.. (:
hee.. lalala.. but we friends la!.. dun think anyhow arhs!..

Mel didnt go sch today la.. sighs.. said got doc appointment..
maybe i gonna give up hope on her soon.. hopefully she didnt slack at home..
well.. i dunno how i'm feeling la.. i having mixed feelings..
haha.. hmmm.. after sch went home lo..
then online.. haha.. i doing blog skin.. (:

well.. then bro bathing.. hmmm.. quarrelled with dad cos of this comp!..
bro wanna use mahs.. but i doing the blogskin halfway lo.. *fuck*
well.. then after that i go bath le la.. hee..
friday going study with ma friends.. (:
so happy.. i wanna go out.. long time nv go out le lo.. aha!..

oh ya.. on way home saw carrick & irvin la..
then carrick look sad lei.. i see le heart broken..
cos overall last time like one another arhs..
just tt didnt get together.. cos i'm not worth him la..
sec 2 i'm still a "ah lian" & i'm not serious in r/s at all..

well.. then i sms him la.. ask him why he sad & all..
then he replied me lo. i hope he feels better now la.. (:
hmmm.. Rave got a girlfriend le!.. haha!.. he told me in msn just now de..
that girl form teck whye sec sch lo.. (:
happy for him.. cos he move on la.. w/o his ex.. HATE his ex so much..
made use of him tt kinda.. *arghs*

hmmm.. then wen hao & me got chated in msn also la.. hee.. (:
hope he feels better now.. hee.. (:
will pray for him.. hope he's fine with his girl sooner or later la..

tired

2005-06-28T19:13:00.000+08:00

i got a tiring day in sch.. missing someone..
dunno she know nots.. ahaha..
well.. i miss Jovi too.. long time nv see her.. (x

morning went to sch, luckily nv late sia..
met mel & mj at bus stop.. mj got me a tee.. (:
it's white with pink fonts.. so nice..
ermmm.. but pink too girl for me lei.. *faintS*
but nvm la.. i like.. it's really nice lo.. haha!.. (:

hmmm.. busy in sch.. lessons all the way..
art haven finish lei.. die la.. i gonna do later.. hee..
i got a hubby.. nice hubby.. (x
nice lao po, lao gongs & all ma darlings.. (:

hee.. ayin so cute lei.. Pat also cute..
damn.. here come berls again..
always looking at cute & pretty girls.. aha!..
me & Piggy boy nv talk le.. dunno why..
kinda sad la.. overall crush one another b4..
so lame la.. haha.. maybe we're both shy.. (x

anywyas, i wont be online so often.. (:

yey!..

2005-06-27T17:42:00.000+08:00

hee.. peeps!.. i at lao po's hse now.. u know shikin?.. her hse la.. hee.. (:
so happy can.. cos she help me do the "KISS" thingy..
u can see tt thingy from the tagboard there.. (:
hee.. berls so excited.. cos i am excited.. hee..
well.. u know.. berls single la.. but not avaliable la..
hee.. well.. hmmm.. shit.. i'm FLRIT.. cos i like got alot of crush on pple..
ohhhh no!.. haha.. but i single lei.. haha.. boo hoo!.. (x

hee.. i'm looking forward to wednesday cos jaff going back to get her cert..
well.. hmmm.. STUPID SCH give time table.. FUCK SHIT!..
TUE TILL THUR gonna study till 5pm lei.. Wah Kaos!..
think i wanna die le la.. i HATE schooling.. @#%$#*^ (x
only if someone is there to help me relax..

...

2005-06-26T20:57:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. sch reopening tomorrow.. *gosh*
good & bad thingy to me.. as i've mentioned ytd.. (:

berls so tired.. there's many things going thru in ma mind now..
i dunno what to do.. dunno how to handle lotsa things.. *sighs*

i saw Dean just now at Plaza cos i went there with bro..
brought him to buy his stationerys.. (:
so many pple staring at me.. *faints*
haha.. i'm lazy.. wear a tee & boxer out..
ma boxer very cute one lo!.. cos it's "bad hair day" tt boxer..
those close with me saw ma boxer last time la.. i mean in sch la..

at serangoon..

2005-06-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

hey peeps.. finally back here man..
had been at serangoon.. grandaunt's place..
for math tuition.. power right?.. (:
ma head gonna burst.. but still.. must concentrate..
i force maself to & i did it.. *smiles*

well.. blog blog blog.. i miss someone..
sch reopening soon.. i'm damn happy but..
it's a bad thing too.. O's coming.. haven really study.. *sighs*
well.. i got a darling.. hehehe.. she's Clive!.. nice right?..
she's funny & sweet la.. aha!..

well.. i'm so happy.. but tired la..
blog arhs.. mummy miss u so much.. haha!..
thanks blog, cos i can blog everything here..
hee.. (:

hmmm.. ma left side of brain always hurts.. *sighs*
dunno why.. it's been quite a long time thingy..
hopefully is brain tumor!.. i wanna die faster la..
life is meaningless to me.. cos i what i do & all..
the outcome turn out nasty.. be it whatever things..

hopefully Clive no more headache le..
hopefully mj getting better..
hopefully she's fine & happy.. (:

these days at m'sia

2005-06-22T22:43:00.000+08:00

hee.. went to m'sia on Sat till today.. (:
was really tired.. i'm so happy to be able to see ma cousins, aunts, uncles & grandparents.. (:

hmmm.. keep eating non stop lei me!.. (x
berls putting on more weight lei.. *aiyo*

talked to cousins & all.. hee.. told them ma life in spore & ma love life..
damn.. one of ma female cousins, she keep sticking to me where ever i go..
alrites, she's a bung.. she's from KL de la.. (:
what a waste lo!.. she can be a model.. if i were her, i wont wanna be bung.. i rather be passive sia..

i not ashame to say these.. hee.. 3 cousins & i bath together!..
their figure so good!.. piangs!.. somemore.. they all taller than me..
i'm the elderest there la.. i felt so so so short & short.. *sighs*

hee.. i told nana that bungs are not good la.. be passive or PL better..
she told me she like passive.. then i told her, since it's tt case, then be PL la..
hee.. i taught her bad things man.. *faints*
to be frank, she got a pair of attractive eyes.. when u see her whole body(when she didnt bind), her figure is the best among all the female cousins la.. hour glass shape sia.. *drools*

hmmm.. we slept on a bed together.. so squeezy!.. she's really IRRITATING!.. she keep moving here & there.. i hardly can sleep well.. *faints*
all these nights with her.. so great lo.. i dunno why..
i dun even know if i crush on her on smt.. she's really sweet to me la..
her sister, yan, told me nana likes me since tt time we went geting together.. i told yan that i like nana too..
think nana get the wrong idea.. cos i like being ard with her & stuffs..

all these nights, with nana by my side, i cant sleep well!.. ):
haha.. but she smell nice thou.. if she's a PL.. i'll just eat her up..
ohh ya.. she told me she kanna ff by her ex-gf.. isn't she dumb!.. cos she didnt ff her ex-gf at all!..
what the hell la.. after her ex-gf ff her, 2 weeks later, they broke up.. her ex-gf dumped her.. *arghs*
if i got a gf, just like ma cousin, i'll treasure her lo!.. tt damn GIRL!.. ff ehr then dumped her.. stupid damn passive!.. how can she do this to ma cousin.. *pissed off*

vincent & avex.. the 2 male cousins that i liked before.. if there's any guys, whom got their characters & all, i'll cherish them as well.. haha.. but i BET there wont be such kinda guys in spore lo..

ohh ya!.. hee.. i got a soft toy.. tigger!.. u know tt pooh friend?.. the one that's tail can "biong biong" one.. haha.. so cute, right?.. (:

hmmm.. tomorrow going back school form 9am till 1 pm then after that going to grandaunt's place for tuition till saturday night.. but fri going back school again too.. as usual.. (:

sunday gonna go tanning with sister.. at East Coast..
school reopening soon.. means, i'm dying soon.. O's getting nearer.. *faints*
i'll be too busy to blog then.. ):

i miss nana all of the sudden.. hopefully i get to see her end of the yr.. (:
miss all ma friends too.. *sighs*
i miss her even more.. ):

away..

2005-06-18T13:30:00.000+08:00

i'll be away for quite some time.. (:
going m'sia later i guess..

will be back next week i suppose so`

berls outta here!.. miss me guys!.. (x

hmmm

2005-06-18T00:28:00.000+08:00

sorry peeps.. well.. i'm not home these few days..
then didnt update ma blog.. *apologise*

hmmm.. 16th june, get to chat on phone with Clive(Jing), Jed & Ching Har.. (:
Clive's voice very low.. Jed's voice is alike ian's & Ching Har's voice damn sweet..
of all these 3 of them, Ching Har's voice melts ma heart.. her voice really sweet & nice..
so girly.. aha!.. opps!.. i think she look damn pretty if she's a str8 la.. *just got tt feeling*

hmmm.. that night, didnt sleep la.. in fact i slept at 7am on 17th june..
then woke up at about 11 plus lo.. then continued to watch tt korean darma show..
blah blah blah.. it's 2 plus.. aha!.. bath & headed hua zhong there..
met up with Maddy.. went town lo.. hee!..
Maddy very cute & funny.. she's a nice girl..

i enjoyed maself alot la.. hee.. but lack of sleep..
cos i always sleep late la..
ermmm.. Mj & her family went to bangkok.. (:
did phone Mj & chat with her before she board the plane lo..
i gonna miss her like hell man.. *sighs*

ermmm.. didnt see ehr for few days le.. wonder if she got study nots..
hopefully she does cos it's for her own good la.. hee..
well.. phone her ytd.. wanna ask her some questions & hear her voice..

went back to Yiya's hse then.. watched tt drama show.. hee..
slept at 4am.. really cannot take it le la.. *faints*
i'm not in very good mood ytd went we took cab back..
DAMN TT DRIVER!.. he on purpose wanna earn more money..
hell.. think i'm starting to dislike some pple more & more.. *arghs*
maybe it's a good sign.. cos she doesnt appreciate pple ard her what..
then what for shld i be there for her when she needs me..
damn her.. she sure have her retributions one day!.. *opps*

i miss all ma friends!.. damn damn damn.. miss them like crazy!..
hurr.. i wanna meet up with some of ma friends who are working..
such as burger, jovi & jasmine.. hurr.. miss them so much..
it's been long time since i saw Kay also le la!.. ermmm.. i mean.. angeline.. she's att with a guy now.. tt's wat jovi told me la.. hee!..
wondering how her bf look like lei.. wonder if he's good to her nots..

what a waste man!.. Kay used to be a active or smt.. so style & attractive.. (:
she's tt kinda type of bung/active/pla tt i wanna.. *drools*
ohh man.. what a waste.. *shouts*

i think i gonna meet sis later.. after she shop at beach road with tt 15 yrs old girl whom is working at Swissotel too..
well.. i gonna get some sleep first before meeting her i guess..
it depends if i wanna meet her.. if i'm too tired, then i dun wanna meet her le la..

anyways, did i mention tt Blur Leong so proud of his height?..
Yiya got a beautiful smooth back.. her back view is nice!..
ahaha!.. Maddy is so damn tanned!.. i'm so jealous.. *laughs*
she's a lil princess ytd.. cute, sweet, funny & loving.. (:

aha.. i miss ma bed now.. gonna go sleep le.. ma phone is charging now in ma room..
i forgot one thing!.. ryann lao gong is really sweet & nice to me..
Yiya said i can consider her but sad to say, both of us can only be friends..
nothing more.. cos i got someone in mind alreaddy & ryann is too small size..
but her characters are good la.. hardly can find in bungs now le..

~berls outta here~

...

2005-06-15T19:05:00.000+08:00

went out to study with Dean today.. (:
then saw cheryl bok.. she's so chio!.. *drools*
it's been long since i see her la.. seriously.. (x

hmmm.. didnt meet her today.. aha!.. nvm i guess..
she's at her friend's house bahs.. (:
hopefully she's guai guai, got learn smt..

i miss so many pple.. *damn*
i'm running out of time.. think i slack too much already la.. *sighs*

might be meeting ma lao gong tomorrow.. (:
i wanna see her niece lei!.. so cuteee!..
yesh.. i love babies alot.. i'm a babies lover!..
i wanna hug ma lao gong so badly.. i need hugs from her!..
i feel much comfortable when someone hug me..
cos i'm lack of hugs from ma friends.. ):
ma family members they dun hug me anymore..
they hug me when i'm a kid.. *sighs*

sometimes i hate ma brother alot.. *ARGHS*
i used to be a lil princness.. dad & mum dote on me alot..
what i wanna, they will give me lo.. now there's a BRO in this hse..
their attitude towards me changed.. no longer like last time..
what's so BIG abt guys?.. cos ma BRO is the only son in the family?..
this is so damn UNFAIR!.. *sighs*

i'm listening to some songs now.. got a song "Yu Jian"..
hell.. i'm thinking of her le.. thinking of the past..
ma very 1st girlfriend.. thou we no longer contact.. but i still think of her at times..
thou we may not have alot of happy times together.. but tt very day.. is so nice..
i wont forget de lo.. never ever.. overall, she's ma very 1st gf..

i wonder how is she doing.. is she fine & all..
maybe she had long forgotten abt me.. who knows.. *sighs*
i miss her.. no.. perhaps.. i miss those times together..
but she's a flirt.. she likes 9-11 girls when we're together..
i'm hurt.. true.. we only lasted for one month.. *sighs*
but tt one month, i put ma best in tt r/s.. still, we broke up..
since it's her decision, then i shall respect it..
sometimes i regretted being with her.. but i no longer got tt thinking again..
what i used to have, it's already very good.. i cant ask for more.. it's all fated..

well..

2005-06-14T21:58:00.000+08:00

i'm tired of everything.. *sighs*

sick of studying.. so sick & tired..
only some people can motivate me..
damn.. i HATE ma life.. *arghs*
everything is just so YUCKY & SUCKY..

`outta here

lack of sleep..

2005-06-13T22:53:00.000+08:00

well.. i'm really tired.. cos i'm lack of sleep..
i dun have appetite these few days at all..
i dunno why either.. *sighs*
well.. i woke up at ard 11.30am today.. hee..

hmmm.. i got a dream ytd..
i dreamt tt our sch got rugby.. (:
then the team members are me, mel, mj, jesslin, pauline & ah dong.. aha!.. got cinda too..
then dreamt tt jesslin is a bung.. *tt will NEVER happen*
hahaha.. ah dong is her gf.. in the dream la..
tt dream so funny!.. ohhh.. ya!.. dreamt of piggy boy for a while only..

well, guess i miss those friends.. aha!..
hmmm.. HOUSE SO NOISY!..
i need PEACE for a few days.. why cant they just be QUIET & let me study?..
i cant concentrate at all at home.. *damn hell shit*
well.. i'm sick sick sick of everything!.. CANT I HAVE SOME PEACEFUL MOMENT?!.. *sighs*

hmmm.. i met reached viod deck at 1.36pm like tt..
then she came down.. started studying.. (:
done some of the accounts papers..
then she taught me chemistry.. (:
go through the corrections lo.. hee..
i learned quite alot today.. thanks to her!.. *smiles*
she's so GREEN today.. like the tree.. *opps*
she's funny la!.. especially when we were going off.. (x
she's like a little girl.. aha!.. *fiants faints*
well.. we saw quite a few toodlers.. (:
they're really cute.. *smiles*i hope i can have one maself next time*

anyways, berls happy today.. thanks to her..
she's really funny & cute.. aha!.. (:
we chat a little while studying too..
she gets distracted easily..
she got itchy hands.. keep vandalising her book.. *faints*
i cant find anymore words to describe her.. she's just so funny..
i gonna revise what i've learnt today.. (:
then do ma art during midnight like tt.. *smiles*

`berls outta here`

shit..

2005-06-13T01:32:00.000+08:00

DAMN HELL NS GUY..
FUCK SHIT.. CALLED ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT..
I'M SLEEPING SOUNDLY & HE CALLED..

WHATEVER.. SO DAMN FUCKING PISSED NOW..
WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANNA LA.. ASSHOLE..
KEEP BOOMING MA PHONE FOR WHAT.. *ARGHS*

I'M SO DAMN MOODY FOR THESE FEW DAYS!..
THEN THIS STUPD NS GUY CALLED ME & SMSED ME..
SHIT HIM.. I FEEL LIKE SLAPPING HIM.. THROW SHIT AT HIS FACE..

IF YOU WANNA FUCK A GIRL, JUST GO GEYLANG FIND LA!..
STOP PESTERING ME.. TELLING ME HOW "GOOD" A GUY CAN BE..
STOP TELLING ME GIRLS CANT GIVE ME ANYTHING!..
I LIKE GIRLS, SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?..
TURN ME STR8 & FUCK ME IZZIT?.. SO YOU THINK YOU GOT A DICK, YOU'RE THE KING OF SEX IZZIT?..
LET ME TELL YOU LA.. DICKS ARE SO DISGUSTING!.. PERHAPS FINGERS ARE BETTER..

I DUNNO ANYTHING ABT SEX WITH GUYS OR GIRLS..
BUT IT JUST TURNS ME OFF, THE WORD "DICK" & "SEX"..
GUYS, YOU WANNA SHOW OFF YOUR DICKS & HAVE A GREAT SEX WITH GIRLS, GO FIND THE WHORES & HAVE A GREAT TIME LA..
HOPEFULLY, YOU GUYS GET AIDS & DIE TERRIABLY..

STOP COMPARING YOURSELVES WITH THE BUNGS UP THERE..
THOU THEY CAN BE FLIRTS & BASTARDS BUT THEY'RE MUCH MORE BETTER!..

YOU GUYS THINK THAT IT'S A CHALLENGE TO TURN A CRK8 INTO A STR8..
ONCE YOU DONE THAT, YOU FELT THAT YOU'VE SUCCEED..
SLOWLY, YOU WILL TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT IT.. HOW "GREAT" YOU ARE & STUFFS, TO TURN A CRK8 INTO A STR8..
THEN LASTLY, YOU WILL FUCK THOSE GIRLS WITH YOUR DICKS.. HOW "WONDERFUL" CAN IT BE ARHS?!..

YOU GUYS JUST DISGUSTED ME!.. ESPECIALLY NS GUYS!.. NO NO NO.. ALL THOSE GUYS THAT KEEP DECRIMINATHING THE CRK8s & THOSE THAT SHOW OFF THEIR DICKS & THOSE THAT NEED SEX SO BADLY.. *PUKES*

`berls outta here.. gonna catch some slp & meet her in the afternoon to study`

PLEASE PRAY I GOT NO CALLS OR SMSES FROM THOSE DISGUSTING GUYS ANYMORE..

to ECP

2005-06-12T22:05:00.000+08:00

woke up then went ECP with sis..
then bro & dad went swimming at woodlands..
well.. i saw lotsa bungs at ECP today!.. (:
pretty babes too!..

damn hell.. so many pple.. sis hates tt.. ):
got no choice.. didnt get tanned!.. *fuck*
wednesday is the day i gonna go tanning!.. (:

well.. went Suntec.. went to pizza hut..
ate alot man!.. (:
then i told her abt it.. *laughs*
i made her jealous!.. seafood is her fav.. (x

damn.. berls didnt study today..
yey!.. gonna meet her tomorrow study!..
so happy.. ohhh lala.. (:

happy..

2005-06-11T23:55:00.000+08:00

berls so happy today!..
cos she managed to help Jo with the math question..
making x as a subject of an formula.. tt kinda "make x the subject of smt"..
berls happy cos she done a blog template!..
but tt's for ma private blog?..
i gonna make more of it when i got time.. (:

went to meet sis just now..
went town.. ((:
ate fish & chips at coffee club.. as usual.. (:
there's a bung there.. CUTE!.. aha!..
well.. spent really lots of foods.. (x

ohh ya!.. Kay called me.. Ermmm.. i mean angeline la..
her bro took part in Channel U, the superstar thingy..
but i didnt go support la.. cos too many pple le..

hmmm.. think i'm quite moody these few days..
think ma period coming?.. *gosh*
well.. i miss ma friends.. obviously, i miss SCHOOL!..
can u believe it?.. berls actually said tt?!.. *faitns*
hmmm.. i miss ma ah gong!.. MR ANG!.. Ma art teacher!..
i miss MRS NORMAN, ma math teacher!..
i miss MRS KOOR, ma accounts teacher..
i miss MISS MARI, thou she's not ma teacher..
she's another version of Mj.. *laughs*
she's small & cute.. i like to bully her by calling her "MARI".. (x

i saw this Zara dress.. it's green in colour.. it costs $50..
damn!.. Mama haven deposit ma money into ma bank!..
oh else!.. i SWEAR i'll get that dress!.. *smiles*

YESH YESH YESH!.. tanning at ECP tomorrow!..
i cant wait.. *i wanna get tanned!*
hehehe.. Wednesday, tanning again!.. at sentosa with burger & jovi..
hopefully this time get to go tanning together!.. (:
Monday might be meeting her to study.. *i hope i can*
so many things to ask her!.. *smiles*

*berls outta here*

confused

2005-06-10T22:18:00.000+08:00

i'm so confused.. so lost & all.. *sighs*

lotsa things happened & all..
David smsed me.. a NS guy tt i lost contact for 1yr over..
then he said abt physical needs & stuffs.. *sighs*
why must he compared girls & guys together?..
it's the feeling.. not the physical needs.. *sighs*
i dun give it to anyone so easily.. i'm not tt open at all..
what's so good abt showing off what u've done with anyone?..
i mean as in physical needs & stuffs..
I'm proud tt i still have mine.. how many teenagers still have theirs?..

I dunno who i really like.. sometimes i wonder, is the feeling just a crush?..
izzit cos i feel comfortable, thus i like her?.. i really dunno..
one thing i'm sure, i feel happy to when i get to see her..
but i know, we can never be together..
it's always better to be friends rather going into r/s..

i just think that i've learned alot after chatting with mj & mel ytd..
i felt much better.. they're just so nice to me..
at least i learned something..
mj's right.. we're still young, we cant see what's going on in the future..
who knows, berls might just die tomorrow?..
who knows if berls gonna spend the rest of her life with a GUY in the future?..
many things are unpredictable.. all i can is to move on..
i just regretted.. regretted not studying.. regretted doing stupid things..
just regretted not treasuring the precious time that god give me.. *sighs*
regretted doing those little things.. cos the past huant me?.. *sighs*

i no longer know what i wanna.. what i'm doing..
why am i doing all these & stuffs.. why?.. can someone give me an answer?..

i realised.. i get affected easily by pple ard me..
things tt's happening & all.. tt kinda things..
aint i stupid enough.. why all these just happened to me?..

i'm happy cos i get to see her.. if only i can spend time with her..
if only we could always be like this.. studying & all.. but..
i know, i'm just dreaming.. *sighs*

i cant tell u how much i need u.. i cant show it out..
all i can is just blog here.. cos ma blog wont give me any comments..
it just "listen" to me.. *am i silly?*
maybe ma blog is another good "listener".. a good friend to me..
berls outta here.. *i feel like dying*

I MISS HER

2005-06-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

how i wish i could tell u i miss u..
but i cant.. i know i cant..
all i can is to say i miss u in ma blog..
cos u wont see it at all.. i know u wont..
even if u see my blog, it will be donkey yrs time..
*sighs*

at least u got study.. u start studying today!..
but me?.. i didnt.. cos i'm doing ma art.. *sighs*
for once, u're guai.. haha!..
*thumbs up for u girl*

it's been so long since i see u!.. *sighs*
however, hope u're doing fine!..
dun slack too much & must study hard hard arhs!..
*berls prays for u & ur sis*

hais..

2005-06-09T20:30:00.000+08:00

finally i can BLOG!.. hell.. i cant get into the internet this afternoon!..
NOW I CAN!.. (:

ryann didnt sms me.. then in the end, i didnt go for "CAMP"..
hais.. i went to visit my grandparents today..
grandpa is so cute i must say.. he's really nice..
i simply love him to the core..
seeing him, i just feel like crying.. *sighs*
when can grandpa walk properly again?..
when i'm still a kid tt time, he would bring me ard..

he said something like, "why must heaven treat me in this way?".. & "why must i be toratured in this way?"..
when he said that, his eyes filled with tears.. i could see he's very sad & depressed..
what can i do?.. i cant do anything.. *sighs*
i massaged him & all.. i felt guilty.. grandpa told me he's not well.. he aint feeling good..
why am i such a failure.. i promised him i will visit him almost every week..
i fail to do so.. *sighs*
sometimes, i'm busy.. well.. i dun like to go to grandparents's place at all.. but i got no choice..
I HATE STEP-GRANDMA!.. She SUCKS to the core!.. there's so many reasons..
if i got the ability, i would comfirm bring him back & take care of him...

if i were to choose, grandpa or studies, i rather give up on my studies..
nothing is important than my grandpa at all..
*am i silly to think tt way?*

well.. Kent called me today.. surprising.. really shocked!..
he told me he's a boss himself now.. i believe him of cos!..
he NEVER lied to me at all de la.. *smiles*
while chatting halfway, he said that i'm heartless..
he said i didnt contact him at all.. & he's the one contacting me..
i admit i'm heartless, cos i deleted his number in my phone..
i didnt contact him cos he took donkey years to contact me..
i'm sorry.. SORRY is the only word i could use..
i let him down in the past.. but this cant be blamed at all..
he got no time for me, he stayed so far away from me & stuffs..
when's there's better catch, obviously i'll go with another person..
it's been so long already.. why cant he let go?.. he talked abt the past..
i felt guilty of cos.. but it's time we should move on & not live in the past..
why cant he just take me out from his memory?.. i dun wanna stay in his memories..
i dun wanna our friendship to turn sour cos of the past.. *sighs*
i dun know what to do at all..

reached home after visiting grandpa.. well.. i quarrelled with ma mum when we're on the way home..
tt SUCKS so much too.. *sighs*
so much quarreling had been going on & on.. hell!..
i'm in bad bad mood.. cos of the call & abt grandpa too..
somemore.. i'm angry & pissed by my STEP-GRANDMA!..
i showed mum attitude.. my attutide is damn YUCKY..
i drove mum angry.. she almost cried on the bus.. *smiles*

well.. then bath & all.. prepared dinner.. then Jovi called.. (:
we chatted quite alot.. hahaha.. funny her.. she raked up the past.. ):
i dun like it when one rake up the past.. it just made me sad..
i wont mind if one rake up the past & made me angry..
i would rather be angry with an issue rather than sad over an issue..
talked to her quite long then went to sleep le..
told Jovi what i've done so far with all ma ex..
she's shocked.. haha!.. then she told me, she thought i'm a FLIRT in the past..
PAST AGAIN!.. *sighs*

i just dunno what i am.. who i am..
i'm no longer the old berline i used to be.. ):
well.. i just think tt i've changed..

if i really cant take it anymore, i'll just do it..
isn't is really nice if i cut myself, put salt on my wound & raise it with warm water?.. *ponders*
i'm getting more & more sick.. haha!.. well.. dunno when the day will come..
*berls outta here*

JB day

2005-06-08T16:58:00.000+08:00

woke up early today.. woke up at ard 6 plus in the morning..
hee!.. then went JB with ma family.. expect sis..
she needs to work la.. ohhh.. so sad!.. too bad!.. *boo*

i slept late last time.. hee.. now i'm so tired..
just reached home not long from JB lo.. (:
saw some bungs there.. still OKAY looking la..
ohhh.. got pple take ma number.. then dad beside me..
aha!.. they kanna stared by dad!.. *dad's ma hero for today*

i didnt buy anything at all.. nothing catch ma attention..
just walk around.. wanted to get a short pants or smt..
but there isn't any nice pants for me at all.. *arghs*
well.. ate quite alot of things today.. Yummy!..
berls so FAT now.. *sobs sobs*

well.. brother went out again.. to his friend's hse..
oh no!.. maybe Ian's right.. aha!.. think abt what she told me last time..
cos my bro, he told me he dun like girls at all.. he finds them irritating!..
then it was like, me & sis, we like girls.. then maybe bro become a gay one day?!..
OH NO!.. THIS IS MADNESS!.. MY BRO CANT BE A GAY!..
he still need to have a FAMILY!.. it's a MUST!.. (:
*berls prays her bro is not a GAY at all*

i'm tired.. i gonna bath & go slp le.. *outta here*

out

2005-06-07T23:42:00.000+08:00

went to meet sis with bro
watched "hitchhiker" tt show..
it sucks so much!.. wasted my money!.. ):

then dinner at Sakae Sushi..
home ard 11pm then used comp..
HELL MSN!.. SHIT THINGY!..
keep signing me out!.. what the FUCK!.. *arghs*

i'm going out tml!.. i'm so happy!..
*outta here*

girl arhs..

2005-06-07T14:00:00.000+08:00

hais.. Silly girl.. u arhs.. what can i say..
just invade anytime u like, okies?..
cos i gave u ma passy of ma blog what.. (:

i'm really lost right now too.. i mean..
i got problems too.. *sighs*
can we meet up sometime?.. i got lotsa to tell u!..
girl, u dun hurt urself, okies?..
cos it really hurts me so badly..
nothing is impossible, right?..
there will be an end to everything..
there will be an end to ur sufferings..
*u know i HATE it when u do smt to urself*dun break ur promise arhs!..i'll break mine if u do it*

girl, love is SELFISH, remember?.. aint this phrase familiar?..
in any r/s, who wont get hurt, right?..
we all get hurt in r/s & all..
but it doesnt means tt we're putting an end to our life..
still can be friends after the break-up & stuffs..

we gonna move on.. we gonna look ahead & not back..
if love is threatening by hurting oneself, it aint call LOVE..
u should get what i mean, right?.. this kinda things happpened..
*u know when & who did it to get someone back to her side*

hopefully ur gal will understands everything..
everything tt u've done for ur gal & all..
hopefully ur gal will understands ur needs & stuffs..

berls never wanna u to be sad.. u should know..
anyways, thanks so much for everything..
when i'm down, then u will lend a listening ear.. *hugs*
berls here!.. i can hug u anytime!.. *bear tt in mind*

2005-06-06T23:19:00.000+08:00

heyys girl,
i invaded again.
i had to blog.sorry.sighs..
i feel as thou
im carrying1 tonne in my heart.
it's so heavy.
it's like a facade..
wo zhen de hen xin ku..
i dunch noe wad to do.
why.. i need to leave it all.
i want to open a new chapter of mylife.
but i cant cuz u.....
why is t so difficult for u?
i dunch think im of that great importance to u
.pls let me leave without and worries or guilt.
day by day i can feel that im slowly tearing myself into pieces.
im losing it.
im losing my mind.
i abused myself again.
i didnt know how to calm myself so i chose that method.
not the one i did before but a different one
.im sorry to those out there who cared for me.
i snapped.i lost it at that moment.
sighs..life's going back to square one and i hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
someone, save me from all these..
i need to break free from all my troubles.
`bitten::

yiya hse

2005-06-06T22:12:00.000+08:00

supposed to go sch.. haha..
as usual, didnt.. hee..
went to meet Yiya.. (:

actually wannna go sch de..
but late le.. then Yiya dun feel like going..
so i also dun wanna go le la.. *sians*
well.. went Yiya hse then.. hee..
slept la.. then use compo awhile..
took lunch then she sang songs..
she's talking on phone too.. (:
well.. her singing, melts my heart..
her voice.. so damn manly!.. *gosh*

hmmm.. then accompany her go Timah there..
then took bus home after that le.. *smiles*
reached home, bathed then took dinner..
took porridage again as usual.. *sighs*
then use comp from 7 plus in the evening till now..

chatted online with friends..
*girl*, i hope u're fine.. PLEASE take care!..
remember the promise we made to one another?..
dun hurt urself, okies?.. *berls here*
*hugs u tight*

berls so tired.. she's so moody.. *sighs*
i dun like to think abt my past at all..
it just suks so much.. *sighs*
if i could turn back time, i'll do lotsa things..
i'll wanna study hard, not to get into any r/s..
not to like anyone & not to spend all my money away..
lastly, i wanna cherish those who care for me.. those by my side..

but i cant turn back time at all.. i'll just move on..
move on with my life as it is now..

well.. berls just berls.. never fails to be happy after she's sad & all..
i'll be alright shortly i guess.. (:

*berls outta here*

arghs

2005-06-05T17:26:00.000+08:00

FUCK THAT BITCH~!

DUN LET ME SEE UR FUCKING FACE!..
*tt bitch tt made ma sis so pissed off*

COS OF TT FUCKING DAMN BITCH!..
i gonna rush to town ytd night to get ma sis her stuffs..

after tt met up with Yiya.. Her classmates all there!..
i dunno them.. kinda like left out thou.. *fuck*
then nvm.. at least i got ma friend to keep me accompany..
i mean.. on the phone la.. hahaha..
oh ya.. i met them at heeren.. (:

berls happy.. cos get to see *her*.. but i didnt show it out..
haha!.. dun ask me why.. i just dun wanna?..
cos i dun wanna let *her* know & dun wanna freak her?..
well.. then bought drinks at 7-11.. (:
drank this 6 % alc.. it tasted like plain water to me..
i cant really taste anything now.. i dunno why..

we headed home at ard 12am like that..
then i reached home at abt 1 plus.. (:
bathed & all.. then used comp.. hee..
well.. i'm so tired.. waited for sis till 3 plus in the morning..
then slept at abt 4am like tt lo.. (:

oh ya!.. FUCK tt DAMN msn messenger!.. keep signning me out..
while i'm chatting with ma friends online la..
so damn PISSED by signning in & out tt kinda thing..

i aint really in gd mood!.. *sighs*
dun piss me, or u get it!.. *berls outta here*

SHIKS ARHS!.. DRINK MORE WATER!..
TAKE CARE ARHS!..

tired.. ):

2005-06-04T18:43:00.000+08:00

went to sch for lesson ytd..
was so tired.. *smiles*
i aint late at all!.. *aint berls a gd girl for once*
i love to study so suddenly..
i miss school.. i wanna go school everyday!..
cos i can get to see *her* & ma friends (:

i saw *her* & her sis in sch ytd.. *berls happy*
well.. i dunno why.. cos i long time nv see her?.. (x

after school, took bus 171.. (:
i saw Jerome Eng!.. *Gosh*
it's the guy i like for 4 yrs in Primary School..
he's really handsome la.. *melts*
but my feelings for him is in the past.. (x
any girl who can have him is very lucky..
he's a good catch!.. he got the characters & looks (:
if he were to go gym more often, his build will be so *woah*

reached town, then walked ard..
headed Cine for lunch..
waited for another friend..
chill & chat for quite some time
then we headed to Heeren after tt.. (:
took neos with friend.. hee.. so happy..
after that walked abt.. looking ard..
there's pretty girls.. aha!.. saw PL couple (:
bungs in town too.. some caught my attention.. (x
oh wells!.. there's this Chij girl!.. ohhh man!..
she's so cool.. *melts*
her hair is really damn nice la please..
so style & eye catching!.. *Faints*
received call from sis then went to meet her..
took esc down then saw Rebecca.. *shock*
she had changed!.. she's much more tanned!..
her spec, suits her too.. *smiles*

met sis at bus stop.. then send friends off too..
walked ard in town with sis.. (:
watched "Cursed" at Lido with sis..
it's a 9.30pm show.. *smiles*

i'm sad & kinda affected by smt.. *sighs*
i dunno why these would affect my mood..

after show, headed home..
while waiting for bus, friends called.. *smiles*
intented to chat with them wheni reached home..
somehow lost my voice thou.. ):
didnt drink much water ytd.. forgot bring ma water bottle out..
reached home quite late.. *berls tired*
then smsed ma friends.. told them abt it.. *sorry peeps*

woke up at ard noon today.. received 4 sms.. (:
Ching Har!.. hahaha.. so funny..
well.. she's at ECP.. She smsed me at 3 plus in the morning..
sorry Ching cos i'm asleep tt time.. (x
then morning replied her sms..
smsed quite alot with her..
asked her abt how's her gathering at ECP with her sec sch mates..
how i wish i'm at ECP when she told me she spent the night there..
cos i miss the beach there.. memories of my past.. (:

hmmm.. Ching got tution.. then we stop smsing le..
slack at home.. checked my mails & friendster.. (:
as well as other profiles.. such as fridae, herstory..
downelink, amercian singles(i dis-activitate it)..
i'm hungry but i got no appetite at all..

hmmm.. suppose to go town today too..
last minute didnt go le.. *sighs*
well.. i wanna go tanning so badly!.. ):
next sunday tanning with sis.. *happy berls*
the week after next week, will be tanning with burger..
cant wait for tt day.. i miss her so much & got lotsa to talk!.. *smiles*

*when i miss u, i dun have to tell u*i wont tell u cos i wont wanna scare u away*

ermmm..

2005-06-02T17:00:00.000+08:00

alrites.. ma day was still okay la.. *laughs*
ermmm.. Jia Hao called me asked me go sentosa..
then i asked where he is.. he told me he at his condo..
shocked that he will call me..
then asked he didnt asked his gf to go arhs..
then he told me ytd break up le..
hopefully he's feeling okay la.. *prays for him*
he seems kinda sad when we smsed one another..
all i can do is to console him thru sms..
told him dun sad over a girl.. cos it's not worth it..
what for cos of a person or a r/s, then let it affect u?..
i aplogised to him cos i cant accompany him go sentosa..
told him i'm very sick & "aunt" paid me a visit ytd night!.. ):
dunno why somehow i felt pity for him.. *sighs*
then i told him i'm sorry.. cos..
maybe i shouldn't even intro him & Qiu Ping as friends right in the beginning..
then all these may not happened to him at all?..
then he told me it's not my fault..
*hopes he's alright & all bahs..*

well.. i'm so tired.. so sick.. so lazy.. (x
i attened chemistry lesson at 1pm till 3pm..
hee.. it's so tiring.. i felt cold in Shaw Threate..
i didnt get to see *her* today.. *sighs*

i'm so happy my fever is almost gone by now..
then hell god!.. i got flu.. ):
mel saw me using 3 packets of tissue in 1 hour..
i so sick that i'm desperate until i use toilet paper for my running nose.. (x
ma voice is like kinda low & awful.. *sobs*
sammy is so cute!.. i love him!.. *aha*
i remembered when we "hi-5" to one another during trainings & all.. (:
then we will shake our body & butt.. *smiles*
i miss those times with u guys!.. *gosh*
can we go for a game one of these days?!.. *winks*

aha!.. i received 2 amusing calls.. one from Jia Hao..
another one from a person i used to like..
anyways, thanks for her concern.. i'll take care..
hope she take care too.. just be happy with her girl..
then i'll be contented enough already..
hopefully she study hard too.. esp her A.Maths!..
hopefully she dun always pon sch le.. *prays*

berls ah berls.. so fucking sian now!.. ):
i dunno why.. aha!.. hmmm.. did i mention Ching Har forward me a sms?..
tt sms so funny.. think she's at movies with her friends now.. (:
she's a funny one thou.. (:
hmmm.. well.. i miss school days!.. *arghs*
cos i can get to see *her* in school mahs.. *smiles*

alrites.. i'm outta here.. gonna make a call.. (:

sighs

2005-06-01T21:10:00.000+08:00

i simply just miss *her* so much..
*sighs*

oh ya!.. i forgot to mention tt i met up with ian for a while after the chi paper..

then i forgot to mention that i called Kriz kor yesterday..
wanna ask her meet me.. got lots to tell her..
aha!.. i forgot smt!.. suppose to meet ryann today..
but she's at her bedok home.. i need ma bubble gummy..
thanks lao gong, for being so nice to me..
so caring & all.. *hugs*

i nv regret knowing u sia.. (:
cos of u, i can let ma problems out to..
i'm here for u always too!.. *hugs*
well.. u do take care, kaes?..
everything will get back to normal soon..
so u just cheer up, cos u got berls here for u always!..

aha!.. before i forgot one thing, sorry guys abt ytd..
i aint feeling well, thus kinda sian sian & kinda pull a long face..

the past few days..

2005-06-01T13:55:00.000+08:00

MONDAY

Chi O's papers still alrite bahs..
Paper 1 is easier than Paper 2..
hopefully i'll get a good grade.. (:
of cos, ma friends, hope that they can get the grades they wanna (:

Hmmm.. that day, sister called me.. ask me abt how's the paper..
i'm so happy.. sis ask me lei!.. mum asked me too.. *smiles*
the only person who didnt ask me is dad.. *sighs*

well.. then went home str8 after the paper..
suppose to go TTSH with bro & mum..
bro went them for eyes check-up..
they left w/o me!.. *saddening*
nvm then.. i left hse at ard 4pm i guess..
took cab down to Newton MRT there.. ((:
blah blah blah.. then took bro to newton there to eat..
after that went town lo.. went to watch "Madagascar" at 9pm..
well.. that show so nice!.. *smiles*
after that went home lo.. *smiles*
at night, chatted with friends.. till around 3 plus or 4 in the morning..
i didnt sleep at all.. i cant get to sleep.. been thinking alot of things.. *sighs*

TUESDAY

then 6.30am washed up & went to ICA building with mum..
felt so hot & ma throat is pain!.. ):
then went for breakfast with mum..
went home myself after that.. then it was like i'm so tired.. ):
bath le, then i fell asleep.. *smiles*
Shiks asked if i wanna go town.. i didnt give her a confirm answer..
cos i'm sick.. oh ya!.. i promised mj to acc her repair phone..
then went to wheelock there to repair lo.. *smiles*
hee!.. Ching Har sms me.. *smiles*
i'm so shocked la please.. (x
so good.. she went sentosa with her classmates..
went to kayak & went tanning too.. *berls jealous*
actually burger asked if i wanna go tanning on Wednesday with her..
but i told her i cant.. cos gonna go back school for lessons.. ):
i miss burger so much!.. so long never see her le.. *sobs*
i'm sick.. ma mood aint really good..
felt sleepy, hot(as i'm having fever) & i got terrible sore throat!..

walked ard in town ytd.. then met up with friends at Spins.. (:
after that walked to Far East again.. so many walking had been done..
then headed home lo.. really cant take it anymore..
felt like dying.. *sighs*
then was waiting got replies from *her* & friends as well..
i called wei liang.. asked him to help me take homework..
i aint gonna go sch!.. i'm sick lei!.. tt's why.. hee.. (x

reached home, then dad nagged at me.. blah blah blah!..
like as if i owed him money like that..
whatever.. i'm pissed off with everything that happened at home..
bath then went to sleep le.. (:
Wei Chin called me but i didnt answer at all.. *sorry*
ma voice is damn deep & i dun wanna talk much at all..
i felt hot & cold at the same time.. tt's the worst thing!.. *arghs*
i couldn't sleep well at all.. i woke up once every 2 hours.. *sighs*

TODAY

well.. woke up at 6.55am.. felt so hot.. i'm sweating yet i feel cold?!..
*madness*
well.. then went mum's room to sleep.. at ard 7.20am she nagged at me!..
asked me go school & all.. *hell*
i mean.. come on!.. i'm sick.. i need to rest..
how can she expect me to go school when i'm sick?!..
when i'm sick, i cant even understand what the teacher is teaching what!..
i got sore throat, fever, cough & headache.. cant she understands?!..
cant she at least care for me?.. why why why?!.. *arghs*
all she does was nagged at me non-stop.. *sighs*

i insisted not to go school.. she got no choice at all..
hell.. was trying to get some sleep la.. then mum & bro are so noisy!..
tt's the worst thing.. i'm a sick person now, why cant they be considerate?..
why cant they give me some peace to sleep?.. cos i didnt sleep well at all..
whatever.. i'm pissed off!.. i woke up many times too..
went to toilet, keep spilting.. yesh, there's blood clots.. ):
mum & bro didnt even care.. what's this?!.. aint they're ma kins?..
they should ask me if i need to go for doc & stuffs what..
but they didnt!.. *sighs*

mj called me & i received a msg too..
mj, thanks so much for asking me to take care & all.. (:
THANKS to those who care for me too.. *hugs*
hee.. i replied that sms.. *sorry* cos i replied tt person late..
i washed up at ard 12 plus or 1 in the afternoon..
ate white porridge.. i didnt eat much.. i got no appetite at all..
i feel like dying now la.. seriouslly.. ):
i felt so sick.. ma head damn heavy now.. *arghs*

how i wish i could get well soon.. i wanna go tanning!..
i wanna do many things.. (:
the worst thing is, i just recovered from ma tummy ache for days..
then now, i'm suffering from fever, cough, sore throat & headache.. ):

these 2 days

2005-05-29T18:49:00.000+08:00

ytd woke up late then went out with sis..
went to bugis & town..
bought a pair of shoes.. sister paid for it of cos..
haha!.. azreen tt hot babe was there too.. *gosh*

well.. went for movie at lido..
watched "monster in law".. it was a nice show..
yesh.. i saw sam chua with her friends..
aha!.. gosh.. there aint really lotsa bungs & pretty girls in town ytd..
*sobs*

ma hp was taken away by ma sister ytd.. HELL!..
then now it's with ma parents.. *cries*
pissed la!.. but i know this cant be blame.. *laughs*

ermmm.. i'm at home the whole day..
study?.. i did but dunno if it gets into my mind..
only do some assignments & stuffs.. (:
tt's all i guess..

ohh.. i so freaking miss ma friends..
aha!..tomorrow can get to see them!..
*smiles* but i wanna see *someone* more.. (:
well.. but tomorrow gona die.. cos it's chi O's!.. ):

alrites.. i gonna go mug for awhile then sleep le..
*smiles*waves to all people*

great time (:

2005-05-27T23:00:00.000+08:00

woke up early this morning.. headed to mj's hse..
slept at her place.. then woke up again..
haha!.. then met mel at CCK interchange..
went school.. acc mj & her mum go tk results..
after tt went to check the O's register number..
took chinese test papers too..
i gonna do it tonight or tomorrow (:

well.. after everything, went to mel's aunt's condo..
went to tt massage pool & sauna.. (:
chatted quite alot with ma buddies(mj & mel)..
sighs.. talk abt lotsa things.. got talk till tt LIAR too..
thou there's happy times together but i still cant 4get & 4give..
how tt LIAR hurt me & stuffs.. *sighs*

after everything, took a bath then headed to plaza.. (:
i'm hungry.. so does ma buddies..
went to Long John for a meal..
buget la.. cos i broke la pls.. *laughs*

after tt we went home le lo.. *smiles*
mel came over to ma place.. we took bus 184 from BP interchange..
i told mel, "tt bus plate number is TIB853M"..
yesh.. it is.. i remembered of cos.. got special memory de!.. *smiles*
i smsed Jesslin.. tell her & ask her smt.. (:
stupid sia!.. got some malays bullied them!.. *arghs*
they went to AMK to collect the jersey..
idiotic shit.. luckily they didnt do anything to ma friends..
ah bo!.. sure kanna from me!.. i sure FLY there save ma friends!.. *laughs*
sometimes.. i'm wondering.. izzit wrong to tell someone u like them?..
maybe it is.. maybe i regret it now.. cos we aint like last time anymore.. *sighs*

reached home, called Jesslin lo.. (:
haha!.. ask her abt tt malays thingy..
abt what they said abt Jesslin they all..
well.. asked abt tt soccer thingy.. cos Jesslin they all having match..
SOCCER MATCH at Geylang there?.. *faints*
hopefully they will make it!..
GO GO GO!.. JIA YOU!..
all the best!.. i got confidence in u guys!.. *hugs*

oh ya!.. i wrote jia hao a testi!.. cos it's his b/d mahs!.. ((:
well.. then he wrote me back one.. *surprise*
he told me abt Qiu Ping.. hell.. say wat forgive her or smt..
what the hell.. she didnt even sincerely apologise to me at all..
somemore she's the 1st friend i cried over.. 1st friend tt hurt me so deeply..
what the hell.. i dun deserve all these shit lo!..
all those got eyes will also see how good am i to her..
like i said, those who were not in ma shoes, dun keep asking me to forgive her!..
it just sucks.. Qiu Ping had abuse my trust.. no point asking me to forgive her..
*she better not let Jia Hao down or whatever*or else,SHE WILL HAVE HER RETRIBUTIONS*

wat i wanna say.. Jia Hao is her current stead now what..
of cos will kinda help her la.. correct nots?..
somemore i dun think he is sure of what happen..
what if one day he finds out she done smt behind his back?..
i doubt he will forgive her bahs.. *smiles*

watever..

2005-05-27T00:14:00.000+08:00

WHATEVER.. SAY ALL U WANNA..
I'M PISSED.. SO DAMN PISSED..
PISSED WITH EVERYBODY..
LIKE AS IF EVERYBODY OWED ME MONEY..
HATE ME ALL U WANNA.. FUCKING SHIT..

BERLS SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION..
PROVOKE ME NOT.. I'LL BE MAD & BE NASTY TO U..
JUST FUCK OFF IF U AINT LIKE TO SEE THIS ENTRY..
YESH.. I'M VERY ATTITUDE NOW..
OBVIOUSLY.. I'M NOT IN GOOD MOOD..

OH WELL.. WHATEVER.. EVERYTHING JUST SIMPLY SUCKS..
SUCKS TO THE CORE.. FUCKING SHIT..
I HATE.. I HATE 26/05/05 & 27/05/05..

I FREAKING FUCKING HATE TAKING MEDICINES!..
FUCK LA.. STUPID SHIT.. WHAT'S THE USE OF TAKING MEDICINE?..
I'M STILL HAVING MA TUMMY ACHES & ALL..
ALRITES.. I GONNA GO NOW..

*BERLS PISSED OFF*

hellosss

2005-05-24T14:33:00.000+08:00

berls supper dupper HAPPY today!..
get to see someone.. aha!.. *boo*

mel's so funny thou.. lalala!..
i HATE chinese!.. but we got intensive mother tonuge.. ):
suppose to go suana & tanning at mel's aunt's condo..
but RAINING le.. so not going liao le lo.. hee!..

berls siao!.. so siao i must say.. i dunno why..
i NEVER see ma lao po in school today.. *sobs*
how i wish i can hug ma lao po..
wanna tell her lotsa stuffs!.. *wee hee*

berls ah berls.. siao ding dong de..
okies.. i miss so many people la.. didnt see them for a long time le.. ):
i miss:
burger
christie
angeline
jovi
ryann
ian
kriz

nothing makes me any happier by seeing *u* (:

today..

2005-05-23T23:43:00.000+08:00

went sentosa with sis..
hee.. go tanning for awhile..
after tanning, headed back habour-front..
ate smt then after that went town le..

bought a new baggy (:
berls so moody today..
sighs.. think i got fever again..
HEAT STROKE!.. *boo* ):

well.. i'm missing all ma buddies.. (x
but i miss *special her* more..
oh yesh!.. can see her tmorrow in sch!.. *smiles*

well.. berls gonna sleep & do her homework!.. *poof*

mj's party..

2005-05-23T01:07:00.000+08:00

went to mj's party.. (:

after that home lo.. Pat.G sent me home..
at the same time.. we "look" for someone..
*shoudn't tell u guys who she is*

Berls under depression.. i dunno why..
told Pat.G lotsa stuffs too.. *smiles*
thanks for listening.. *hugs*
tears almost roll down ma cheek when i hug Pat.G
but i held back ma tears.. *sighs*

Lao po, u got me here, dun worry..
u depressed, i also depressed lei.. ):

tanning later again with sister.. (:
will be going sentosa.. *smiles*

lots to talk to ma sis.. shall tell her tomorrow..
i need someone to hug me, at least.. lend me her shoulder..
let me lean on it & cry out loud.. *sighs*

ermmm..

2005-05-21T23:55:00.000+08:00

where are u.. where have u gone..
i dunno.. really dunno what to do..
so what if u are missing.. no as if i know where u've been..
it's not ma problem anymore.. i aint gonna care..
hope u just get home & stop making pple worried for u..
i'm not worried for u.. cos i'm nobody to u anymore..

well.. slack the whole day.. ):
didnt study.. tomorrow tanning with sis!..
then evening time, gonna go for mj's party.. (:

well.. i'm totally broke.. hell god!..
called ian but she didnt pick up.. dunno why..
wanna ask ehr go tt party with me.. aha!.. ah bo i very sian.. ):

smsed with piggy boy & pauline today..
ma phone is very silent today.. *strange*
can i say that piggy kinda brighten ma day?..
he's very funny & sweet.. aha!..
pauline is funny too.. *shouldnt say why*

kaes kaes le.. i gonna sleep le..
i wanna change blog skin.. wait till i find one.. *smiles*

wat's wrong

2005-05-20T23:55:00.000+08:00

mid-yr flung like hell la pls..
*sighs*

i'm so down.. feel so down.. so many things la..
happening in ma life.. cant talk to anyone abt it..
proabaly pple will think i very stupid..
i dunno why too..

well.. was happy tt at least piggy smsed me these 2 days.. (:
ma one & only piggy boy.. always so sweet & all to me..
so touching can?.. *hugsss piggy boy*

Even if i know who are the guys that are gd & who are ma Mr right..
i choose not to have any BGR anymore.. not now.. in the future?.. not sure..
but all i know is i like some one.. a girl form ma school..
i having mixed feelings actually..
a girl & 3 guys.. these 3 guys very nice.. but.. i still like the girl more..
i really dunno what to do.. *someone PLEASE kill me*

well.. so what's wrong with being a les?..
some LOW-EDUCATED, ILL-MANNERED BRAT, just talk without SENSE!..
vulgarties all came out from his mouth & all.. *shakes head*
when will these guys GROW UP arhs?..
wasted ma time talking to these guys over some SMALL ISSUE..
can i said that they got NO BRAINS at all?!..
when some issue didnt even concern them, they just be KPOS..
COME ON LA!.. you think what?.. GUYS so?.. I SCARE arhs?!..
what singapore government dun allow GAYS & LES?..
if sigapore dun allow, there wont be GAY & LES pubs & clubs..
there wont be GAY & LES party held at Sentosa lo..
in fact, if singapore dun allow, they will BAN all these!..
dun come talk to me all these stuffs when u know NOTHING at all!..
ohh.. cant BLAME la.. u're a MALAYSIAN not a SINGAPOREAN..
perhaps u should read more newspaper la.. i mean SINGAPORE newspaper..
-so sorry arhs.. for saying u're LOW-EDUCATED person.. but go reflect on ur ATTITUDE la.. if u aint ATTITUDE to me, i also wont say all these at all-i dare to admit i'm not smart at all but in terms of attitude, i'm much more better than u guys..-

LASTLY..
HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY, MJ!..

past few days..

2005-05-19T17:15:00.000+08:00

hellos peeps!.. (:
i forgot what i done this few days..
*Pause* let me think back..

oh well!.. Tuesday last day of paper..
went to cck for breakfast..
then after tt i left before mel & headed to mj's house..
then slack at her place awhile lo..
Yu min came too..
ermmm.. then at about 2.30pm left with Yiya..
went to her house.. then left together..
She went to west mall for movie (:
me headed home.. then went out again..

met Mei Yee in town.. then we go window shopping..
she bought bikini & a pants!.. so NICE!..
hahaha.. next time we gonna go shopping together le.. (:

ohhh!.. hahaha.. then met up with Mel & Joven..
then after that they went off first..
then Jesslin & Pauline met up with Mei Yee & me lo..
ohh ya.. before that, saw chirstoper, calvin, nigel & other guys at Far East..
as well as charmaine, li ying, li yi & other girls..

Blah blah.. then we(Jesslin, Pauline, Mei Yee & me) walked to herden lo..
then we took neos together.. aha!.. Mei Yee very cute & funny (:
*anyone have scanner? i wanna scan tt neos*
walked passed tt action city shop at hedren..
then think of someone.. *sighs*

Yiya met up with us after we finished taking neos..
then we headed to Cine for dinner..
hee.. then we headed to Pastamania, but close..
headed to the Japanese Resturant beside the food court..
we cant order anything at all cos they closing shop..
then we headed back to Level 1 lo..
wondering what to eat.. Burger King or Yoshinoya..
after that FINALLY let our arse rested..
softa seats so nice!.. then the table got candle too..
i dunno what's the shop name..
but it's at a corner.. near Yoshinoya de lo.. (:

blah blah.. then we took photos together..
Yiya help us take de lo.. (:
hahaha.. very funny la.. took Jesslin hp to take photos also..
*smiles*
i enjoyed myself tt day.. but somehow was pissed off..
as well as sad.. cos i think of someone.. *sighs*

sorry guys, if i had showed u guys attitude tt day..
Jesslin, Pauline & Mei Yee.. sorry if i've fagged in front of u guys..
i'm just so stress & pissed off.. *sighs*

Jesslin, Pauline & Mei Yee funny!.. they kept taking photos!..
*laughs*
well.. then after fagging, took photo with Mei Yee.. (:
Actually wanna take with Jesslin & Pauline de..
but i dunno how to tell them.. so never lo..
scare later they dun wanna take photo with me.. then how?..
somemore later le.. then we kinda rushing to take bus home..
in the end, we took cab home lo..
Only Mei Yee, Yiya & me took cab home together lo..
cos all stay around bukit panjang & chua chu kang area mahs..
sent Mei Yee home 1st, then me & lastly, Yiya lo.. (:

reached home, bathed then online..
chatted with Yiya awhile lo..
Aha!.. Mei Yee, Jesslin & Pauline reached home safe & sound.. (:
asked them to sms me when they home mahs..
ah bo, as a friend, i wont fang xin at all de.. (:
didnt chat much with Yiya.. cos i very tired..
somemore going sentosa on wednesday..

Yesterday(wednesday).. went to Sentosa with Shikin, Izzah, Pat.Eng, Eugenia, Jessica, Mj & Yu Min..
Mel & Joven came after that.. *sighs*
i dun like Joven.. the way she treated Mel just turn me off..
I'm protective over friends.. i dunno why either..
i dun wish to see ma friends sad whatever de..

Tanning as usual.. hahaha!.. Rachel said it will rain.. but it didnt!..
Yey!.. ermmm.. it rained in the morning only.. xD
Mei Yee was with Chin How they all at Siloso beach...
while the rest of us at Tanjong beach lo..
tanned until 4.30 then we left le..
headed to Palawan beach to bath lo.. (:
after that went to Habour Front there to eat..
Hafiz went with us too while those pple he went sun tanning headed home or somewhere else..
*smiles*

after dinner at Habour Front with Shikin, Jessica, Pat.Eng, Hafiz, Marissa & Yu Min, i went town..
met up with sister lo.. then she aked me go over to City Hall to wait for her..
then Hafiz headed home.. he took train with me too.. *smiles*
reached City Hall.. chaos of peeps!.. i see le also giddy..
then i sms sister.. & she came le.. FINALLY!..
we headed to Esplanade.. it was sister's idea..
it's been quite long since i went to Esplanade..
sister asked me what kinda impression/feeling i had went we're walking around in Esplanade..
memories came right across ma mind.. so i told sister i wanna sleep.. & i think of some people..

Esplanade, is the place where me & some people went before..
used to go there to meet ma ex & passed her her Sport bra at the roof top.
somemore tt time she was with her new gf.. *sighs*
used to went there with one of ma ex bf before too..
i went Esplanade with the one i love most, the last time..
is with a bung.. *Sis, Shikin, Mel, Marissa know who she is*
*sighs* let's not talk abt this le..

Went to Bus stop.. wanted to go town.. sister wanna eat cake..
then i suggested to go Coffee Club lo.. (:
at bus stop, saw a bung.. look like Sean..
didnt dare to call her name.. scare i recongise the wrong person.. *smiles*
then we took bus Triple 1 to town.. Sean broaded the bus too..
smsed her.. asked her she on bus triple 1 izzit..(to ensure she is tt Sean i know)
she replied.. & yesh, it was her!.. (:
i like her spec & hair la please!.. *wees*

oh ya.. then sister 7 me went to Taka tt Coffee Club lo..
got a bung work there.. look very familiar lei!..
look abit like Janson.. but i not sure la..
sister ordered Mud Pie & Gralic Prawn Spag..
i ate half of the Mud Pie only lo..
then after finishing everything, we walked around Taka la..
then headed home after that..
i'm so cold on the bus.. *smiles*
Moses smsed me.. then i replied him..

Reached home le.. Rave smsed me.. then i miss call him..
ma sms burst la.. xD
oh ya.. chatted with him & Yiya called lo..
Then i swapped the line.. hee..
blah blah blah.. then chatted with rave again..
haha!.. he very funny la please.. (x

online.. then get photos from Yiya!.. cos she upload the photos into the comp le..
*smiles*
so happy!.. new photos for me!.. *wees*
well well.. i'm so tired thou.. slept at 1 plus in the morning i think.

today didnt went school..lied to mum it was marking day..
i got heat stroke.. then fever le!.. Bloody hell..
if not i sure go school de lo.. xD

well.. i woke up at 3 plus in the afternoon today.. *smiles*
i think alot of peeps nv go school bahs.. *laughs*
i alone at home so BORING!.. dunno what to do la please!..
i gonna do ma art later on le.. *smiles*

CHINESE O's COMING.. HELLOS!.. I DIDN'T STUDY MUCH AT ALL!..
gonna mug later on!.. *smiles*

DISGUSTING

2005-05-16T23:45:00.000+08:00

hey peeps.. guess what?.. AHA!.. some people rebonded their hair..
LOOK LIKE SOME GHOST!.. *opps*
one of them arhs! look older with rebonded hair.. *laughs*
i prefer her squrriel tail hair.. more cuter la..
OH FUCK! WHY AM I TALKING ABT HER?!..
DISGUSTED DISGUSTED DISGUSTED!..

Oh well.. Math paper 1 today.. hell!..
starting easy but then ending of paper so FUCKING difficult la!..
blah blah.. i went to collect ma art materials with mel..
then met up with mj at her house.. *smiles*
cos i left it at her house on sunday.. *berls so careless*
went to take lunch together at Lot1 then go sunshine..
Accompany Jase go cut hair.. *smiles*
candy help her cut de!.. I like jase's new haircut..
aha!.. imagine me in her haircut!.. OH GOSH!..
will look like so ah bung.. *faints*
yesh, i admit i think of becoming a bung..
but i still perfer being a PL or passive..
anyways, labels dun really matters..
what matters most is the feeling for someone.. (:

after jase finished cutting hair, headed to cck lo..
then mj bought Lakasa for her mum..
headed mj's home after that.. then watched tt PARIS HILTON VIDEO..
bored like hell la please.. *laughs*
berls tired, then she fell asleep till 7pm..

7pm she woke up & watched that 7pm show on channel 8.. (:
if i got someone like "ah wang", life will be so happy without any worries lo.. (:
*berls dreaming*

well.. i think i abit crazy le.. i dunno why too..
dad said ma hair dun look any difference..
he wanna me to cut even shorter.. isnt it like ah bung hair?!..
I DUN WANNA LA!..
i'll NEVER be a bung thou i got tt intention before!..

but well, desiree jie is so nice!.. i miss her lots lots!..
hee!.. i finally got back her number le.. so happy la pls (:

*berls aint in any good mood today*

Outta'

2005-05-15T21:35:00.000+08:00

berls slept late & she woke up the time when Yiya called her..
she was still sleepy & she's so LAZY.. *laughs*
okies.. i'm MAD now la pls..

oh wells.. met up with mj & her mum at her place..
then went to meet Yiya lo.. hahaha.. we went to cut hair!..
tee hee.. god.. CANDY is actually quite alright looking la..
i like ma hair.. she cut it for me.. love her so much..
*opps* aha.. alrite.. i got fun today thou..
i dunno izzit i just act tt i'm happy.. i really dunno..

chatted with mj too.. then told her how i felt & all..
god.. i think i need a hug badly.. shit it!..
just a hug from mj or mel will do..
GIRLS I LOVE BOTH OF U!..

sometimes.. i think back of our past.. i dunno why too..
hell.. why am i suffering like tt?.. thou i no longer like u..
why izzit the past still huanting me?..
why why why & still WHY?!..
i lost ma way.. i dunno what to do..
u aint there to guide me anymore..
u guide me thru darkness & show me the rays of sunlight..
u ruined it too.. u ruined everything..
i thought i'll be the happiest girl.. but i'm wrong..
u choose her rather than me.. u lied to me.. u just lied..

i'm so hurt.. fucking hurt by u.. but did u know?..
u never know.. u never realise what u've done to me..
u aint me.. u dunno how i feel.. now u're so happy with her..
me?.. well.. i'm left with what?.. hurt & pain are all that i had..
causing great damage to ma heart.. ma heart is filled with scars..
scars that u've created..

it's cause of u.. i dun ever dare to step into any r/s anymore..
even if i found the right one for me, i still wont go into a r/s..
why?.. i'm so scare, so afraid of getting hurt times & times again..
i rather stay single & just like the girl whom i like now..

i wanna tell u this, she's a nice girl.. thou playful at times..
she aint someone tt will hurt others like u..
i'm happy to like her.. she aint any replacement..
she's so much better than u!..
at least she can brighten my day.. she wont hurt me..
u lei?.. Yesh.. u did brighten ma days before BUT u hurt me damn much..

i like the girl now but she dun like me..
i'm just fine with it because i nv expect anything in return..
if i were to choose between dating, att or single..
i'll either choose dating or single BUT not att..

berls had ENOUGH of pains!..

2005-05-15T20:28:00.000+08:00

::hey girl...i invaded ur blog!
oopss..just got lots of thing to blogwhich i cant do it in my own.
sighs..i miss *u..
u probably wont know that im blogging about u.
but ytd when i was with her.
i thought about u.i didnt tell anyone thou.
u said to me once that u stilllove me.
u told me that if u could turnback time.
u would ask me to be yours.
u know how i felt when i saw that??
i wanted to cry my heart out..
i wanted to scold u for not treasuring me at that time.
i wanted to be with u again.
but i know i couldn't.
i was with some one else already.
u can only blame it on yourself.
every single thing i did for u was just a waste.
i really miss do u know that?sighs.
why did u have to go?
and suddenly pop back into my life
when u jolly well know that im attached.
and after that, u left me feeling confused again
why?? i really loved u once.
but now it's all gone.
u made the decision to leave me.
making me fall into depression.
making me look like a fool
making me feel that my life was over
.making lose myself over you.
why?? i want u back at times.
do u know that?
after the day when u turn ur back on me,
i know it was the end.
i missed u terribly.
but i didnt dare to message or call u
because i was afraid u would ignore msgs
.sighs. why? why did u have to leave me?
i miss u badly.
but there's no turing back now.
ure att and so am i.
all i can do now,
is blog here.not even in my own blog.sighs..
im outta here.
thanks girl for letting me rant.::

family outing

2005-05-14T22:30:00.000+08:00

out with family today!.. wees!..
daddy in good mood i suppose so..
he brought us to bugis crystal jade for lunch!..
oh god!.. it's been a long time since we go out together as a family..
i ate alot of things!.. i dunno why.. I'M SO FAT NOW!..
no no no.. berls MUST try to slim down.. xD
doubt i can do that now bahs.. O_o!

hmmm.. after lunch, went to temper to pray..
thou i'm a free thinker la.. but i'll still go there to pray at times..
hopefully gods heard my prayers..

blah blah blah.. went town after that..
watched "Amityville Horror" with sister..
that show is a NC16 show.. *smiles*
ohhh.. it's a BLOODY show la please..
haha.. there's this part, the woman naked!.. but can see her back only..
oh well.. that show is a nice one, you guys can go catch it ya (:

after movie head home le lo.. eh.. no no.. went plaza..
FUCKING THOMSAS.. STUPID ASSCLOWN!..
owed ma sister salary.. WHAT KINDA SHIT IS THIS?!..
see his face feel like slapping him la!..
HOW COME THERE'S THIS KINDA JERKS IN THIS WORLD?!..

Holy shit!.. berls feeling hot.. she got fever..
danmit la.. i hate that feeling.. *arghs*

i'm sorry cos i cant go ther to meet u..
i wanna u to know, it hurts me to know there's smt troubling u..
i dun wanna u to be sad or hurt.. how i wish i can meet u tml but u cant go out on sundays..
i'm a call away, willing to listen to u if u're willing to tell me ur problems..
never will i leave u alone during ur darkest time.. this is ma principle of being a friend..
*u know who u are*

heart aching

2005-05-13T16:40:00.000+08:00

sighs.. someone arhs.. dunno how to take care de..
so wilful, naughty & playful.. luckily ur leg nv broken arhs..
better study hard for ur papers & O's!.. Jia You & all the best!..
if i done something wrong or what, i wont seek for ur forgiveness..
cos i'm in wrong & i'm in no position to seek for forgiveness at all..
-to you-you know who you are-

i dunno what i'm feeling now.. sighs..
now i feel so sian.. like wanna die like that..
going town later.. meet sister for dinner then gonna shop..
berls felt so lonely now.. nobody's home expect me..

i dunno why.. all tt i've studied, all gone into the drain..
hell.. can someone tell me what to do?..
something is affecting me but i dunno what izzit..
hais.. was it because of tt LIAR?.. i really dunno..
izzit that the past that is huanting me?..
i seriouslly got no idea at all.. thou i been to places we used to been..
i don't seem to get depress & sad.. or what so ever..
songs are what i heard.. tt's all.. *arghs* what happened to me?..
why am i feeling & reacting like this now?.. i feel like crying out loud..
i dunno why.. it's just that i felt very miserable now.. ma heart is tearing..
the pain is killing me.. *sighs*
i've totally changed.. it's all ur fault.. why LIED to me.. why made empty promises?..
i'm so damn hurt.. i hate you.. i hate you & i hate you..
you hurt me fucking deep!.. it's the past.. but i dunno why.. why izzit still huanting me..
..berls..is..moody..now..

how i wish everything, everything is just a dream.. it aint reality..
but i cant change it.. what happened had happened..
blame myself to be such a fool..
peeps, dun you guys think i''m just a failure of everything?..
why izzit am i the one whom is getting hurt all the times?..
why isnt it others?.. those HYPROCITES?..
those that act innocent, cute & pitiful.. those FAKERS..
..berls..a..fool..in..everything..

SLUT

2005-05-12T19:00:00.000+08:00

SLUT U GET IT RIGHT.. DUN U DARE QUARREL WITH RYANN..
U FUCKING SHIT.. LOOK WHAT U DONE FIRST LA!..
ME & RYANN AINT ATT AT ALL.. WE'RE JUST CLOSE FRIENDS..
COME ON LA.. EVEN IF WE ATT, ALSO NOT UR FUCKING PROBLEM AT ALL..
YOU SUCKER.. YOUR WRONG-DOINGS & SINS ARE NOT TO BE FORGIVEN..
COME ON LA.. IF YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR RYANN, YOU WONT EVEN LIKE OTHER PPLE NOW..
TRYING TO MAKE RYANN MISERABLE OR RATEHR TO LIKE YOU BACK IZZIT?..
I FUCKING HATE U & CAN U FUCKING NOT ACCUSE ME & RYANN FOR BEING ATT?..

WE AINT ATT OKIES.. I'VE ALREADY GOT SOMEONE IN MIND LA..
AS FOR RYANN, WHO SHE HAS IN MIND, I'M NOT SURE, KAES..
YOU BETTER LEAVE HER ALONE LA..

U MAY THINK MA ATTITUDE SUCK, SO DOES YOURS..
U GOT A BITCH FACE & IT JUST MAKES ME WANNA SLAP U..
GET A LIFE LA..

FUCK

2005-05-12T18:40:00.000+08:00

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS COMP..
HELL GOD LA PLEASE..
THIS COMP LIKE SIAO EH..

aiya.. dun tell me what to do la, okies?.. cos it just SUCKS SO MUCH..
why bring up tt FUCKING matter again to spoilt ma BLODDY MOOD..
go ahead & LISTEN to whatever tt "innocent girl" tell u guys la..
just FUCK IT la.. what forgive here & that?!..
I'M NOT FORGIVING & I WONT FORGET..

"SORRY" it's just a word.. when one done something wrong, then apologise, isn't it too LATE?..
Mel i miss u lots lots.. i wanna a hug & i need urs.. u're the one tt understands me well enough..
berls FUCKING PISSED now!..

i wanna go out get some fresh air.. or else i gonna be FUCKINF mad like mad cow..
WHATEVER IT IS.. MY ATTITUDE SUCKS, so what?..
YOU GUYS FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHAT I'VE GONE THRU?.. NEVER LA!!..
ONE THING IS TT U GUYS FUCKING LISTEN ONLY HER PART OF STORY..
EVER ASK ME WHAT HAPPENED?.. YOU GUYS NEVER!..

SUCKS

2005-05-12T15:20:00.000+08:00

today simply sucks to the core..
bloody hell.. hais..

ALL TT I STUDIED FOR PHYSICS DIDNT COME OUT A SINGLE SHIT!..
i'm so so so so BLOODY pissed off!..
whatever it is.. HELL..

Ytd chatted with Kriz bro.. (:
thanks arhs.. cos u give me advices!.. *wees*
told Kriz bro i wanna study.. but i always thinking of some other things..
STUPID SHITTY LIFE I HAVE.. *pissed off*

shikin so funny!.. tt N.S & D.L!.. oh god!.. ma hair all standing la pls!..
-tt two sucker cum licker-
*is berls tt bad?.. *shakes head, she's NOT*laughs*

did i mention tt JO is very artistic & creative?.. *drools*
how i wish i got half off her talent.. *smiles*
she's style & cool too.. *wees*
her girl chio also sia!.. *woahs*

Chatted with Damian online ytd too.. Rave & ma ryann "lao gong" also..

Damian was funny thou.. hey di, if i said anything wrong, sorry yas..
cos what we talked abt ytd, is really ma personal experience & i hope u understand ma situation..
respect ma decisions & all.. anyways, thanks arhs!.. cos u shared ur point of views with me as well.. (:

Rave so NICE!.. .*hee*
i asked him to send me ma photos.. & our fav song too.. *smiles*
chatted quite alot.. haha.. he does house chores..
u guys believe it?.. i dun.. but i was so shocked.. (:
a great thanks to u for sending me the stuffs i wanna.. *smiles*

Ryann lao gong is the most FUNNIEST one..
love her to bits.. xD
aha!.. she's so nice, so funny.. u nv failed to make me smile.. (:
lao gong very good huh!.. she always listen to ma problems..
then she will try all ways cheer me up.. *hugs tight*
i never regret knowing u.. *wees*
anyaways, if u believe u can get the girl u wanna, wait for her..
DETERMINATION is the key.. JIA YOU!..
berls lao po always behind u!.. (:

sick

2005-05-11T19:50:00.000+08:00

berls is sick.. she got slight fever..
nobody take care of her!.. *poor thing*

Ytd met up with ryann lao gong, then study at mj's hse..
lao gong so yandao.. haha!.. she so cute & nice..
promise to hug her the next time.. *wees*

blah blah blah.. i'm so tired.. so tired of studying..
berls got mixed feelings.. she doesnt knows what to do..
can someone help me, please?..

well.. ma accounts paper!.. hell.. it's EASY but i made lotsa mistakes!..
oh yaya.. ma art, i haven do anything.. need to re-do until i'm satisfied with it!..
i'm sick.. ):

well.. went to jessica's hse with shikin lao po..
watched tt 1 hr video show.. tt show was so BORING but quite alright la..
nothing new or fresh abt the whole thingy.. *laughs*
all bascis stuffs.. aha!.. Opps!..
berls getting naughty.. *laughs*

well.. i'm so confused.. i'm so afraid..
i'm afraid tt i'll like guys back again.. HOW?!..
i dun wanna tt to happen.. i dun wish to..
i'm afraid to be hurt & to hurt others no matter if i'm with guys or girls..
getting hurt sucks alot.. tt feelings is unbearable.. *sighs*

alrites, berls gonna go le.. *ciao*

tanning tanning.. i wanna go tanning.. we fixed a date, shall we?..
see you guys around.. aha!.. will be wearing ma new bikini..

i wanna *her*

out

2005-05-08T01:40:00.000+08:00

woke up, study awhile then went out meet sis..
went to buy tickets for HOUSE OF WAX tt movie..
lunch at palza sing.. (:
sis went far east highlight hair.. blah blah blah..
then met up with mj, jase & yu min for awhile..
after tt left for tangs, shop for mother's day present..
cant find any at all..
bungs in town, pretty girls also.. *drools*

met up with roberto with sis then dinner..
after tt, went for the movie le..
HOUSE OF WAX nice lei!.. but very disgusting.. *pukes*
after movie, coffee at cartel..
i think i saw Jo.. tt bung look like her..
okies.. then i sms ian.. xD
i got no time to find her today.. *ma regrets*

LIAR's in town too.. well well.. didnt see her thou..
heard tt from ma friend cos ma friend saw her..
aint she happy now, with her gf & all.. *hell*
god is on ma side.. cos i dun ever wanna see her AGAIN!..

THE ABOVE POST IS REFERING ON WAT HAPPENED ON SATURDAY, 7/5/05 (:

ermmm..

2005-05-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

what i wanna say is.. today's paper is so difficult!..
i slept during paper 2 chi & i fucking wasted 43 marks..
tt's alot mans.. oh no..
haha!.. i know how to do the "gong han".. so easy.. *wees*

Hmmm.. 28.05.05 is sis's & sis-in-law 4mths le.. so fast lei..
aha!.. then tt day is mj & jase's 5mths le.. so fast lei..

well.. today after chi paper, got accounts remedial from 1pm to 4.30pm (:
mrs koor is so funny & cute.. oh man.. i gonna like her alot..
she's like so my another "mummy".. *smiles*
i'm loving accounts.. i wanna pass & i wanna get at least a b3 or a2 for O's./
tt's ma aim, i wanna do it & i believe i can do it if i keep practising.. (:

aiya.. sometimes, life is so sian.. when u feel so alone at home..
oh ya.. did i mention that somebody's attitudes are getting yucky?..
well well.. i'm starting to dislike them le.. HOW?!.. *sighs*
it just seems that they're blinded by some fucking sluts/bitches up there..
oh whatever.. *laughs*

i miss ryann lao gong.. <--happy nots see this, arhs ryann? *ponders*

-i adore ma piggy, tt's true & nv a lie.. u're ma only & one piggy i'll ever have.. *hugs*-

arhs!.. i forgot.. ma baby taz is like so dirty.. haha!.. gonna wash it le..
threads are coming out too.. *sighs*
ma baby taz.. poor thing..

off & out

2005-05-04T19:17:00.000+08:00

i aint gonna care anymore..

FLIRT & SLUT come out form ur mouth & yet u denied it times & times again..
so what if i forgive u?.. are we still gonna be the same as before?.. NO we will NEVER..
u're SELFISH cos u didnt put urself into ma shoes..
u're a SLUT or should i say WORST than that?..
ur body language & the way u talk totally disgusted us.. turned us off.. *pukes*

i tried to forgive u but i cant cos u hurt me damn fucking deep..
i NEVER felt like this before.. i thought i could always trust u & what i get in the end?..
i NEVER cried over for a friend at all but u made that came true..

u're actions, ur words to others totally gave me a bad impression..
trying to gain sympathy from others?.. tt may works..
i can pretend to be pitiful & gain other's sympathy, but why didnt i do tt?..
i wanna be REAL & not FAKE..
i aint like u.. cos u're FAKE.. u're FAKING everything out..

Cant u be REAL?.. Why must u be so FAKE?..
u're a totally changed girl.. From a decent girl to a BITCHY SLUT..
tt 2 words suit u.. u know why?.. cos u proitat urself as one..
more over, u're mixing with tt BIG TIME BITCH..
anyways, it's good la.. since both of u the attitude match.. *laughs*
oh.. No no.. should i say that u're influence by her?.. brain washed by her?..
oh if tt's the case, poor thing i must say.. i dunno if i should laugh or cry..

i NEVER expect things to turn out this way but i must thank god..
thank god for showing me ur true coulors..
i NEVER felt regretted before so deeply in a friendship..
however, thanks to u, u're the FIRST to make me REGRETTED..
REGRETTED for being nice, dote on u the most & trust u the most..
berls BLIND to overlook ur bad points..
berls such a FOOL.. berls REGRETS..

oh well.. i aint feeling good these few weeks.. stressed up with so many things..
hell.. then un-expected person smsed me.. made me think of past..
I HATE tt feeling!..

oh well.. i chatted with ryann lao gong ytd & i like her voice..
hahaha.. ermmm.. just now chatted ian on hp awhile..
waiting for her call.. wondering when she's calling me.. *ponders*

i wanna meet up with diane(fengyi) then she can tutor me!.. *wees*
i wanna meet up with adez.. i long time nv talk to her le.. miss her!.. *arghs*
i wanna meet up with BURGER.. i wanna hug her tight & cry out loud..
i know BURGER will be there for me.. she's a huggable friend.. (:

so many pple i wanna meet up with!.. oh yaya.. TANNING SESSIONS after chi O's..
who's interested, let me know, kaes?..
gonna TAN from morning till evening!.. *smiles*

I miss the times when we're put together burger.. i just simply miss u..
i see u, i can forget my sorrows.. cos u're burger, u light up my day..

Hafiz lao gong called me in the morning.. sheng min too.. but i'm LATE for school..
well.. Hafiz lao gong abit angry with me.. hahaha!.. i LOVE his accompany..
i miss gordon too.. Gordon ma 1st lao gong, ma cute hamtaro.. xD
i love ma company of guys.. simply ma brothers (:

most of all.. i LOVE mel, mj, jessica & dean..
i LOVE ma darling jesslin
i LOVE yiya tt chio bu
i LOVE maddy.. she's cute
i LOVE eugenia.. she's kissable.. xD
i LOVE shikin lao po & berry sister Izzah..
i LOVE ain & blaqis.. they're cute..
i LOVE denise, dong & nie.. they're sweet... *wees*
i LOVE burger.. she light up my day..
i LOVE Kriz kor.. can do w/o her..
i LOVE zuer.. cos she's rally understaning (:
i LOVE ******* even more.. *figured out*

study study study

2005-05-02T19:46:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. i studied after i taken my breakfast plus lunch.. (:
study while smsing with *her*.. hahaha..
stop studying at 7pm.. tt's why i'm here to blog.. (:
later gonna bath then study again..

*she* a very nice & funny girl.. see her smses will laugh at them at times..
she very naughty cos she didnt concentrate on her work & watched tv programmes..
*faints*
gonna push her to study.. all these cant be carry on man.. *smiles*

tomorrow is english paper.. hell.. i think i gonna fail my mid-yr badly cos i'm concentrating on my chinese O's la.. hopefully i can be able to achieve my goal for chinese O's..
i just think that this yr, everything happened so fast..
it's like, woah!.. now is may le.. hell man..

i got the feeling that this yr O's, it's very difficult & i got a feeling quite alot of pple will fail.. i dunno why but i just got this feeling.. *sighs*
hopefully all my batch, all those in sec 5 NA will pass their O's.. who likes to retain, right?
god please bless all those who are taking O's..
*much love, berls*

sister is starting work tomorrow.. means that berls will be alone.. ):
how i wish time cant stop then i could rush my revision & get everything into my head.. hehehe.. but i know it's stupid la.. haix..
i wanna go school!.. home is so boring!.. *sighs*

hmmm.. well well.. how i wish that i could get to school & get to see the one i like.. muahaha!..
berls so hungry.. alrites.. i gonna bath, take ma dinner & study again le.. *wees*
berls shall see you guys in shcool tomorrow..

I HATE MA FAMILY.. NOISY LIKE HELL.. *PISSED OFF*

missing her..

2005-04-30T19:25:00.000+08:00

sighs.. i just wanna say..
i wanna say it to the one i like..
but i cant.. cos i just cant..
afraid to tell ******* how i feel deep down..
nobody understands how i feel at all..

i just miss ******* so much..
i like ******* so much..
i dont know why.. feelings just come..
all i can is to like in silence..
i wanna see ******* happy & do well in O's
*may god bless the one i like now*

o's coming

2005-04-30T16:46:00.000+08:00

suddenly, i just realise that time really pass by so fast..
Chinese O's coming.. nightmares.. i think i've slack too much.. hell..
went out for lunch with mum & bro just now..
then went popular with them..
bought some files & books..
haha.. Jesslin's white file spoiled le.. i got her a new one just now..
thanks arhs Jesslin & Pauline for teaching me.. *laughs*

after studying, went to M.square with mel.. (:
accompany her go take store keys.. *smiles*
we chatted alot & mel's so great..
she's funny, she's cute.. winks!..
she's shy shy arhs when she came ma hse before we go study..
*smiles*
mel mel mel, it's all about mel.. i just wanan say, GIRL I LOVE YOU.. *winks*
we got telepathy.. (:

ryann lao gong so funny.. she asked me who i like.. hehehe.. didnt tell her..
she wanna me send her the pic of the person i like sia.. then i dun have.. xD
hmmm.. she just smsed me.. dunno how to reply ryann lao gong.. *laughs*

oh god.. i'm so tired.. hahaha.. hopefully i sleep later then wake up study..
i hope all of the 1988 & 1989 batch will pass their O's lo.. (:
oh ya.. i miss alot of people..

sister & daddy went to melaka.. then i'm alone at night.. so sad..
very frightening, i dun dare sleep alone in my room..
it's very very dark at night & i heard noises.. how i wish sis is back to singapore soon..
sis starting work on 3rd may.. which mean, after sch everyday, i'll be alone at home..
no time for conversation with sis & less communciation.. i dun like that..
*sighs*

worst come to worst.. i'll be at home with dad & bro since 6.50pm till the next morning..
that will be my new "routine".. *sighs*
oh man.. i cant concentrate at all.. i wanna sis to be with me.. i need my sis..
i just need her by my side as & when.. she's the one i can trust in this family..
no matter how much misunderstandings, quarrels & fights we used to had..

fucking SLUT

2005-04-28T22:48:00.000+08:00

FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT A FOOL AM I ARHS..
TREAT SOMEONE DAMN GOOD, IN THE END WHAT I GET..
HEY SLUT.. STILL DARE CONFRONT ME ARHS..
COME ON LA.. IF YOU DIDN'T SAY THOSE WORDS ON 17/4/2005
DO YOU THINK I'LL JUST LEAVE YOU ASIDE?..
THINK BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING LA..

OH.. FLIRT?.. I'M FLIRT?.. AT LEAST I'M SINGEL.. NOT LIKE YOU LA..
YOU'RE ATT LO.. DUNNO HOW TO BEHAVE ARHS.. SO WHOSE THE SLUT HUH..
*LAUGHS*
YOU KNOW HOW TO CRY, I DONT KNOW ARHS..
COME ON LA.. YOU NEVER FEEL HOW I FEEL OKIES..
WHAT I PS YOU FOR ANOTHER GIRL..
YOU KNOW I GIVE YOU MORE ATTENTION THAN I GIVE TO THE GIRL NOTS..
I NEVER BEEN SO NICE TO A FRIEND BEFORE & YOU'RE THE FIRST LO..
COME ON LA.. YOU NEVER KANNA BACKSTAB OR BETRAYED BY THAT BITCH YET.. UP TO YOU.. YOU WANT, YOU GO AHEAD BELIEVE HER..
*LAUGHS*
ANYWAYS, I SEEN THE TRUE SIDE OF YOU.. SO IT DOESNT MATTERS IF WE'RE STILL FRIENDS ANOTS..THINK ABOUT IT, IT'S NOT REALLY WORTH THOU..
HOW YOU TREAT ME.. I'LL NEVER FORGET IT.. NEVER EVER..

oh ya.. ytd chatted with Kriz kor.. ermmm.. will try to find out who the person is la, kaes?..
find day meet up with you cos got lots to talk to you.. *smiles*

oh ya.. kayes.. take it or leave it la.. i apologise to you & all le.. if you're so petty, then forget it lo.. i mean.. come on la.. cos of i never reply u, u scold me a fucker?..
how will you feel if you were in ma shoes.. eh.. i'm the victim okies.. cant u be understanding enough?.. *PISSED*

WHAT A FUCKING WEEK I HAVE.. THANKS TO THOSE FUCKING PEOPLE.. THANKS TO SLUTS & BITCHES.. *laughs*

nobody will know how i feel.. no one will..

+oday..

2005-04-26T18:18:00.000+08:00

hell.. am so tired now..
study study study..

got fun ytd at study area..
lauged until i headache sia..
thanks to izzah.. she's so funny.. *smiles*
we're the berries sisters.. *laughs*

blah blah blah.. Passed *her* the papers to mark..
lalala.. dunno lei.. think i siao siao le la..
she ask me study then i study de.. *faints*

ohh.. then left sch, accompany Lincoln go repair laptop..
he waited for quite some time la.. *smiles*
blah blah..
reached home lo, then sms *her*.. say thanks la..
cos must ma fan her help me check my POA mahs..

i'm sick la.. got sligh fever & headache sia..
aha!.. then i bath le, lied on ma bed..
lazy to move my body..
chatted with mel lo.. while smsing *her*
ermmm.. she ate chocolates.. Temp me sia!..
then i also wanna eat chocolates le..
so went to NTUC buy kinder bueno lo..
bought panadols too.. ((:

aha.. she very funny.. dunno why.. her sms funny de..
got so many typo lei.. *laughs*
but she still abit guai la..
cos she got study mahs..
ma fan her help me mark my papers..
then i next time must buy chocolates for *her*..
never mind la.. i sun bian buy for myself.. *laughs*

Me & jaslyn NOT friends le.. cos i dun wanna..
aiya.. less one friend wont die la..
she's like so unreasonable type la..
always ask where tt person is & stuffs..
A PAIN IN MY NECK!..

Ermmm.. i'm very moody ytd.. so sian.. totally sian..
someone forward me some sms.. i was like SIAN DIAO..
Ohh.. tt time you say friends huh.. FRIENDS you sure?..
Come on la.. WE'RE NOT EVEN LIKE FRIENDS AT ALL..
actions speak louder than words la.. think about it..
you showed your duty as a friend?.. NO YOU NEVER!..
ever since that day.. that FUCKING HELL DAY..
everywhere i go, how i wish i wont dump into you on the streets..
Luckily, these few months i didnt.. it's a good thing..

Oh ya.. went town just now with izzah, mel & shikin lao po..
we're like so sian.. but befire that, we're very naughty..
very bad & very playful.. we make lotsa noise..
we disturbed pple, we play around like mad cows..
*faints out*
oh ya.. went Paragon too.. met up with Jovi.. *smiles*
ermmm.. got one guy, he gave us cotton candy for free..
so sweet hor?.. me, mel, izzah & shikin ate it happily..
he gave me another stick after i finished the 1st stick..
so good arhs the guy.. aha!..

I'm sick sick sick.. so tired.. but i gonna study..
i promised *her*, Dean & many other people..
god.. give me determination, give me power & give me motivation..
I'm lack of them.. *sighs*

i called RYANN just now.. Ma cute PTS.. hehehe..
she's so funny.. i miss her lots lots.. Hell man..
i wanna hug her tight tight!.. *wees*
How long i never see her?.. it's very very long time ago since i see her..
Hopefully i meet up with her tomorrow.. ((:

I so sad la.. i didnt sms *her* today.. she also didnt.. ):
hiax.. nvm lo.. she got someone in mind le..
she happy can le la.. i dun mind la..
i dunno why i dun dare to face *her*
*sighs* maybe is cos i pai seh bahs..
aiya.. i dunno what to do la.. *sighs*

how i wish i could turn back time..
cos i will mend my mistakes..
i wont hurt so many of ma ex..
i wont even wanna go into a r/s..
i wont wanna smoke..
i wont wanna have bad records in school..
how i wish i can, cos i wanna study..
now, it's just so difficult to understand whole damn thing i learnt since sec 1 till now.. *sighs*

m'sia

2005-04-23T21:28:00.000+08:00

went melaka with mum on friday lo..
aha.. then reached granny's place..
Avex's not in.. Hurr!..
Fanni's at home.. oh hell.. she's taller than me le la..
she mock at me.. okies.. i felt so sad.. ):

aha!.. then Avex reached home around 6.30pm lo..
He bathed then we went to aunt's room to listen some MTV lo..
We chatted & he asked if i'm att.. i told him i'm not att lo..
then he said i lied to him.. he saw some photos in ma wallet..
well.. i told him those photos are last time i took from someone i like de lo..
he knew that they're bungs la.. hehehe.. i told him abt everything de lo..

At night, we went for supper lo.. then ate alot of things..
ermmm.. i drank soup la.. then scald ma tonuge.. hell man..
hmmm.. then i lost ma sense of taste le la.. ):
went to buy some VCDs lo.. then a ah beng talked back to Avex..
that stupid ah beng dunno how to pronounce "Pacifier" lo..
instead he corrected Avex saying, it's "Pacifer" not "Pacifier"..
Oh man.. i feeling like slapping tt ah beng la please..
He so cocky lo!.. I regretted not scolding him back..

Oh whatever la.. then at night, reached home le lo..
then bath & wash up la.. then at night, switched on ma hp..
then saw Pauline's smses.. hell.. i thought what happened to her..
asked me call her cos something urgently.. i reply her back..
but there's no respond at all.. should have switched on ma phone earlier man..
I cant sleep that night lo.. i mean.. friday night, i didnt sleep at all..
i'm so worried.. *faints*

My apologies to all that message me.. cos i didnt reply anyone else..
expect Pauline & my "bf" la.. aha.. xD

Alrites.. I went out with mum, aunt, Avex & Fanny..
went for movies with Avex, Fanny & Avex's friends..
Got a great time.. Aha!.. Watched "Sahara" with them lo..
Blah blah blah.. mum got her things done lo.. (:
Then we reached home.. packed our things then going back singapore..
so here i am to write ma blog.. (:

I must said, Pauline is a good girl girl.. she study.. can you believe it?.. *laughs*

i miss shikin lao po & i miss balqis..
so many other pple i miss too.. ohh..
i miss EUGENIA lots lots.. *arghs* ):

alrite.. gonna go le.. promised Pauline to study..
gonna do accounts.. partnership.. ):

town

2005-04-22T03:04:00.000+08:00

woah.. now friday le.. in 3 more hours, friends will be waking up, going school le..
i aint going school.. i'm not FREE.. xD

i'll sure miss lotsa pple.. (:

okies.. after school, burger fetched me.. cos we heading town for lunch mahs.. *smiles*
after that headed to bugis to meet ma sister then we shop around la.. (:
met burger's friend too.. then headed to town again..
Her friend, Ryan, is so BENEDICT LIM lo.. *hell*
All the attitude & all.. *faints*
blah blah blah..

I DONT REALLY LIKE RYAN..
she's so MA FAN & FUSSY.. *faints*

blah blah blah.. .went for movies with burger & jovi lo.. watched "shikoku".. that show sucks so much.. it's better if you guys dun go & watch it lo.. Waste ur money, tak cab & all mahs.. hehehe..

alrties.. i gonna sleep le.. *nites*

*thanks Adez for listening to me today..*hugs*

I HATE THAT BITCH & SLUT.. *pukes*

...

2005-04-19T22:35:00.000+08:00

YOU AINT IN ANY POSITION TO SAY I'M A SLUT..
YOU AINT BETTER.. OH NO.. I SHOULD SAY YOU'RE WORST THAN A SLUT..
FIRSTLY, I'M SINGLE, I CAN LIKE WHOEVER I WANNA..
THOU I MAY HAD MENTION ALOT OF PPLE IN FRONT OF YOU,
IT DOESN'T MEANS THAT I LIKE THEM, OKIES?..
WELL, THINK ABT TT LA.. YOU'RE ATT LE LEI..
THEN WHAT NOW?.. GO & THINK WHAT YOU DONE LA..
I DONT USE TO SAY IT HERE.. SO, USE YOUR BRAINS..
OR ELSE IT WILL BE DAMN RUSTY LA..
*I'M WRONG TO DOTE ON YOU, TO BE NICE TO YOU & ALL*
*WHAT DID I GET?.. NOTHING & YOU BACKSTABBING ME?!..*
*DONT BLAME ME FOR BEING BAD OR COLD TOWARDS YOU..*
*YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DONE WRONG, OKIES!?..*
*YOU'RE SIMPLY A DISAPPOINTMENT..*

looks like i've learn something.. learn tt i'm a fool.. a fool to always be there for friends when they're down & need help.. what's the point of being nice to friends when in the future, they will backstab you & stuffs.. hell god.. since the day *THE ONE TT CALL ME SLUT* is att to *HER CURRENT BF*, she changed so much.. Hell.. Oh well.. maybe ya, she's mixing with the wrong group.. that group which i labelled as "BITCHES"..

Mel, Shikin & Dean are right.. Pple take me for granted.. as in a way, i'm too nice to otehrs & yet they dun appreciate at all.. *smiles*
I FINALLY UNDERSTAND.. (:

yes yes.. berls nearly cried in school today.. it's just that i hold back ma tears.. Mj, dont do tt again, kaes?..
after sch, study with yiya & sheryl (:

dinner time, out with sister.. then now at home.. writing this entry (:
see you guys tomorrow.. *nites*

ma feelings

2005-04-18T17:00:00.000+08:00

went causeway point with francis for movie..
watched "be cool"..
after that go for dinner.. (:
Chatted quite awhile lo..
during movie, i'm cold.. really cold..
francis's hands & arms so warm.. *giggles*
he's nice, really nice..
asked each other if we're att & stuffs..
both of us not att.. told him my reason & vice versa..
as i'm cold, then he said, "next time find a bf or husband tt can keep u warm.."
i agreed to his sentence sia.. cos i'm afraid of cold but not afraid of hot..
*smiles*
Ytd is really the 1st time we actually go out together & spend the time together..
well welll.. then he said, "last time when we steadd didnt even go out at all"..
then i was like, "oh.. ya lo.. only went to gym together.." *laughs*
Teck Lee called me during the movie.. HELL.. I HATE HIM..
Then private number called.. It's hafiz brother!.. *smiles*
so happy.. hafiz hafiz hafiz.. *smiles*

alrites.. after dinner, went home le lo.. then at the interchange, i just think of the past.. the memories when we're at the interchange.. blah blah blah..
dun really think about it too much either.. what for kill my brain cells to think back?.. What's the point of everything now?..
it's just MEMORIES i must say.. MEMORIES of those that once entered my life.. *sighs*

Was shocked to receive her sms ytd night when i reach home.. HELL GOD.. i looked at her sms & called her immediately.. MADNESS.. i was like, she get the whole thing wrong & sent me tt sms.. that nearly kill me.. Dont wanna any misunderstandings & all.. i dun wanna her impression to change..
alrites.. we smsed & talk quite alot of stuffs.. Long story.. *smiles*
She switch off her phone after the last reply i gave her..
i got this "delivery report" thingy.. tt's why i know..

Luckily i'm not late for school today.. so proud of myself.. *smiles*thumbs up*
Lessons today in school.. totally sian diaos la.. *faints*
okies.. i got lotsa things to do..
ma O's Art paper 1, chinese compo, study for re-test(chi & accounts)
i aint feeling well cos o got slight fever..
God please, bless me to have a serious fever..
i wanna go hospital.. i wanna high fever.. i just need a break right now..

Jaslyn & me still quarreling.. fun eh?.. Stupid like hell.. cant be bothered about it..
we just comes from different world & i already got someone in mind..
that someone is in my school..
because of this, you wanna quarrel also?.. STUPID BITCH..
& what's up?.. i mean.. hellos.. we know each other only a few days?..
F*CK OFF.. YOU GOT NO RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING..
i never want things to turn out like that.. we can still be friends..
but please, before we become friends again..
kindly change your bad attitude & temper la..
you aint getting anywhere with this kinda attitude & temper..
I mean.. you can be a nice girl why be a BITCH?..

berline gonna clam down.. clam down clam down.. alrites.. better after thinking of my shikin lao po.. her words spinning around in my mind.. every single thingy about the advices.. *smiles*
shikin's sick.. so worried for her.. why alll of the sudden sick sia.. aiyoyo.. better drink more water, okies?.. *hugs*
-shikin lao po.. aha!.. thanks so much for everything-all the advices & lending me listening ear-

I'm listening to, "Chi Xin Jue Dui".. thinking of someone now.. *sighs*
tt's yiya & my song when we were so damn down tt time over the people we love so deep..
think bad.. i'm such a fool.. willing to give you all the best that i can show..
understand ur needs, care & concern you, give you all the attention i never give others before, love you & treasure you like hell.. help you with your problems.. encourage you in every single thing you do.. spare a thought for you & all.. what i get in the end?..
endless pain & hurt from you.. you cant felt it cos you AINT me..
all the promises, all the words, all the conversations & letters or notes..
it's all just LIES.. i played my part, to give & show you all the best in me..
yet i deserve all THESE from you.. *laughs*

friends?.. are we still friends.. there's no answer to it.. if i were to bump into you one day in this year along the streets, then we will still be friends.. otherwise, god make the decision for us.. we're not fated to be friends or so.. (:

Qui Ping's b/d coming le.. arhs.. headache sia.. *laughs*
oh ya.. let berline tell you guys something.. Friday i aint going school..
i going malaysia.. yey!.. so excited..

i gonna do ma art already la.. *cries*

I MISS *PAULINE*
I MISS -JESSLIN
I MISS *PIGGY BOY*
I MISS -MELISSA
I MISS *YIYA*
I MISS -MARISSA
I MISS *PAT.G*
I MISS -CHARMAINE
I MISS *KRIZ*
I MISS -VINCENT
I MISS *CLAYTON*
I MISS -MICHELLE
I MISS *SHIKIN*
I MISS -ANGELINE
I MISS *BURGER*
I MISS MISS MISS SO MANY PEOPLE.. ):

alrites.. sorry hafiz for that small "kiss" on your cheeks.. was wanting to to wispher into your ears about something, but i think i stood too near to you le.. *laughs*
it's been so long since i last kiss a guy.. *laughs*
so it's your pleasure lei.. *laughs* kidding la..
it's accidently.. sorry.. *hugs*
enjoyed chatting with you thou hafiz brother ((:

school

2005-04-17T18:35:00.000+08:00

was tired sia..
helped out in school..
*sighs*

i hope hafiz brother is alrite le.. he hurt his finger while peeling the prawns.. *hugs*
it will be okay brother (:

saw her.. was really happy..
oh well.. whatever..
cai ning was so pretty & we got quite alot to talk about..
my day just spent in school..
i'm crazy.. seriouslly crazy..

i quarreled with Jaslyn.. I dun wanna go over to ur place just to take care of u..
i mean, i'm nobody to you, why should i care?..
i know i'm heartless to say that.. but i'm sorry, kaes?..
have u ever put urself into my shoes?.. I'm really tired..
no time for you & all.. angry with me all you want
i wont give a fuck about it..
i'm not going to care.. you make me pissed off by ur attitude & all..
so why should i care?..

Jesslin is nice.. talked to her & feel better ((:
Thanks girl.. *smiles*

alrites.. my eyes on girls today.. pretty girls.. *wees*
My eyes on guys too.. Only those that are handsome.. xD
Francis become more & more handsome le.. *woahs*
PIGGY BOY IS THE MOST HANDSOME & CUTE DE.. NO GUY WILL TAKE OVER YOUR PLACE ((:

i'm moody.. so moody.. damn damn.. alrites.. gonna apologise to Pat.G..
Sorry didnt know u got injection & i forgotten about it..
thanks girl.. thanks for all your accompany & listenings.. *hugs*
i buy u sweetes next time la, kaes? *smiles*

berls aint feeling alright.. she's moody now..
she's going out with Francis later..
Francis's a nice guy but why didnt berls treasure him last time?..
well.. the break-up is a lame one.. so funny to think back about it..
oh well.. thanks to a gerl.. *laughs*

Teck Lee called me & asked me out.. no not free!.. i wont wanna go out with a jerk like him.. About the "sex" thingy you told me when we're together.. It just turns me off.. I HATE YOU!..
Guys with mind filled with "sex" is so disgusting.. GET A LIFE.. it just suck so much.. *pukes*

I HATE EVERYTHING.. THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING SUCH A NICE PERSON.. FROM THE DAY WE ENDED EVERYTHING.. YOU'RE CURSED & YOU WILL GET YOUR RETRIBUTIONS ONE DAY.. DO TAKE CARE YA..

hais

2005-04-16T20:53:00.000+08:00

did i mention tt dad was back from France ytd evening & he's flying off to Finland later?..
alright.. i didnt.. sorry dad.. i totally forgot to write tt in ma blog ytd.. *hugs*

Ytd chatted with Adez on phone.. We're kinda "dirty" la.. Chatting about girls all the while then about the sexy legs, pretty girls from Cedar & all.. Adez sang songs!.. Can you believe it?.. aha!.. She's funny thou..
*sorry Adez for being kinda "attitude" ytd in msn*

Woke up today then went out with mum.. bought things for dad cos he need those canned foods la..
before tt smsed jesslin.. forgot to reply her ytd cos i fell asleep.. sorry abt it girl.. (:

hmmm.. bought lotsa things lo.. then i saw ma ex.. aha!.. act stupid.. just ignore him.. xD
after tt he sms me.. i didnt reply.. cant be bothered.. suck jerks aint worth to be freinds after break-up..

oh yaya.. Thanks Shikin lao po for everything.. sorry for all the troubles caused.. am deeply regretted.. *hugs*

Well.. Jed ar Jed.. better go for operation la.. ur parents are worried & so does ur friends, right?.. oh no.. i shouldn't call u Jed.. i should call you skinny lil girl.. *laughs*

alrites.. haha.. told jesslin i'll forget about *her* in 3 days time.. ((:
i know i can tt's why i said tt.. thanks arhs, u trust me.. *hugs* ((:
we shall just 4get about *them* together.. got confidence in you & vice versa ((:

i'm so excited cos tomorrow gonna go school! *wees*
well well.. i'm so crazy now..
alrites.. thou i prefer girls more but some guys do catch ma attention.. *wees*

It's ma Piggy Boy aka Jonathan Wee & Gabriel Loke(ma ex)
Both of them are smart lo.. *smiles*
i cant wait to see Piggy Boy tomorrow in school.. xD

I just know a girl.. she's pretty, sexy lips & shiny tanned long legs.. *melts*

People ask me what label am i now, well.. i'm not sure about it either.. but i cant stop looking at girls.. *laughs* be it bungs or passive or whatever..

Guys are only ma friends.. but those who caught ma attention, is really those that i think highly of them.. ((:
*piggy piggy piggy boy, i go crazy abt u*

alrites.. berline is going off le.. i gonna go change & i sending dad off to the airport with mum & siblings ((:

today

2005-04-15T22:30:00.000+08:00

well well.. didnt sleep ytd till now..
i'm tired.. was late for school..
shikin lao po also & *she & her sis* also late for school..
*sighs*

I dunno what to say to her in face but we still got contact thru sms..
today is just so sucky.. i'm tired..

Pon lessons with shikin lao po & izzah.. ((:
chatted in toilet.. got fun.. Izzah's a naughty girl..
i didnt know she's so playful de.. *faints*

Got some misunderstandings going on with Shikin lao po & me..
We cleared it in msn just now.. Woah.. feel much more better le..
anyways, i wont risk a friendship for a relationship..
told shikin lao po tt ((:

i cant go into a r/s with someone i know too well de la..
the feeling is different & all.. *laughs*

Why cant u sense that i'm just pretending?
pretending to be happy & not sad..
if i'll to show out how i really feel inside ma heart
wont u be freak out?..
wont u feel bad to actually indirectly "hurt" me emotionally?..
i care for you, it's just normal la.. in fact, i care for so many pple..

shikin's right, i shldn't be too good to pple..
they will take me for granted & wont appreciate me at all..
oh well.. take a look back.. it's so damn true..

all i wanna say is those pple will regret.. they deeply will
they will feel guilty..
unless they aint human, they wont be guilty.. *laughs*

-you see me happy, smiling in sch, playing & joking ard, but do you know how i feel deep down?.. no, you didn't because you aint me at all..-

-everytihng i do, why i rather suffer, is cos i dont wanna you to suffer-

sighs

2005-04-14T23:56:00.000+08:00

i aint happy.. i'm so sad.. but i'm fine
COS
thanks to ma lao po... SHIKIN ((:

i feel much more better talking to her.. thanks so much.. ((:

Tears flowing down my cheeks..
why izzit so.. it's cos i just cant control ma tears..

sometimes i wondered, am i a fool, a fool to be understanding
to be nice to people & care for them as much as i can..
in the end who's the one getting hurt?.. uh huh.. ME!!!

Stupid right?.. hell man.. madness.. being good is so difficult..
being bad is easier.. tt's what people said..
it's so real.. so damn true..
maybe i'll just be the bad person then..
what for suffer?.. what for kanna the sadness & pain & all?..
for people u bloody care so much & they dont appreciate?.. *arghs*

i trim ma hair.. with sis at sunshine plaza..
then met dean for study..
i'm tired.. so many things to do..

i just HATE everything..

i regretted not treasuring you in the past 2 yrs.. i deeply regretted it!..
now i just wish ya all the best.. aha!.. *smiles*
-"4" j-

bitches

2005-04-13T00:27:00.000+08:00

I'M IN BAD MOOD!!!..

FUCKING BITCHES.. BOTH OF YOU GOT NO RIGHTS TO SAY ANYTHING.. WHAT DID WE LES DONE ARHS.. FUCKING BITCHES.. GET A LIFE LA.. SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH A LES LIFE.. OH YA.. HEY TT BITCH TT I TRUSTED FOR FUCKING SO MANY YEARS.. THANKS ALOT ARHS.. NOW I SEE YOUR TRUE COLOURS.. I'M A FOOL TO BELIEVE YOU & HELP YOU WITH BOTH YOU & YOUR BF QUARRELS.. TRYING SO HARD TO GET BOTH OF YOU BAD TOGETHER.. YOU'RE THE ONE WHOM LEAD MA BUNG FRIEND ON LAST TIME & HOW DARE YOU SAID I INFLUENCE YOU.. COME ON LA.. YOU'RE FUCKING STRAIGHT LO.. OHH.. WELL WELL.. BITCHES LIKE YOU JOLLY KANNA FUCK BY GUYS.. BRINGING THEM TO YOUR HOUSE.. WHAT A SHAME.. YOU'RE A SHAMELESS BITCH..

I TRIED TO FORGIVE ALL YOUR MISTAKES, I DID & WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE BOTH OF YOU NOW.. HMMM.. THESE 2 BITCHES.. ONE OF THEM ALWAYS FLIRT WITH GUYS IN FRONT OF HER BF, THE OTHER ONE, GIVE NO FREEDOM TO HER BF, CONTROLLING HIM & ALL.. HEY PLEASE LA.. YOUR BF(S) NEED FREEDOM LO.. DONT TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED LA.. YOU BITCHES WILL REGRET IT ONE DAY FOR BEING SO FUCKING BAD TO YOUR BF(S)..

i went studying with ma friends at kap just now then go find the girl i like..
hmmm.. then head home la..
many things just happened so fast la.. so many things..
*sighs*

met up with burger they all on monday in town for dinner.. Angeline is so WOAH o_O!
wasted.. she aint a bung/active anymore..
cos she's ma dream bung.. hehehe..

i miss the girl i like
i miss lao po shikin
i miss burger
i miss ma kor
i miss yiya
i miss melissa chua
i miss angeline
i miss so so so many pple..
i just miss talking to them..

-thanks yiya.. for being so nice to me-*hugs*
tt's all peeps.. see ya.. *tuck tuck*

hell.. i'm broke..

2005-04-10T18:50:00.000+08:00

oh man.. spent $250 in a day.. hell god.. sister & i spent tt amount in 2 days.. damn la..

oh well.. suppose to go to Clementi's CC cos she asked me along.. but i dun like bball.. i mean.. i got phobia la.. hmmm.. nvm.. didnt get to see her for 2 days.. mon still can see her.. hehehe..
so happy & excited..

burger smsed me.. hehe.. tomorrow might be going for lunch with her.. ((:
she wanna ask sis too.. oh well.. burger.. miss her so much.. aha! xD

friends ask how am i & all.. well, i'm fine.. doing fine.. just that i dunno why i HATE studying now.. oh well.. but i gonna push maself la.. ahaha..

Oh ya.. did i mention how me & sis spent tt $250?..

friday: Neos($10)
Dinner($23)
Movies($17)
Snacks($7)
Beads($14)
Necklace Watch($22)

saturday: 2 bra set($60)
2 bikini set($60)
Lunch($10)
Cab Fare($10)
Clothes($20)

haha.. told burger abt it & she was like "woah"
-i miss burger- *laughs*

Hmmm.. alrites la.. get serious now.. i'm just so not myself anymore.. not what i used to be.. *laughs*
i'm going bersek le lei.. oh no..